While normally I get my break from the world in the actual great outdoors, where birds chirp and sing their songs, where tree frogs fill the air with resonate music, and where cicadas thrum a rhythmic pulse of sound that lends another instrument to the symphony of nature, sometimes being outside isn't possible.
Today is such a day. Jared isn't feeling well and after being up with him almost all night, the idea of trying to push him around outside when he is under the weather seems cruel. Breathing treatments are part of our day today every four hours in the hopes that we can clear the congestion and coughing.
Instead, I have discovered a tremendously wonderful channel on Roku called “Awesome Planet” that has beautiful natural scenery combined with very relaxing and minimal musical accompaniment.
The volume is low, the beautiful cinematography from exotic places is resplendent and breathtaking, and the tranquility is immeasurable.
While it isn't quite the same as being out in nature, for today it will be the next best thing.
The effect of the natural scenes and the gentle music is restorative and calming. It is like washing away layer upon layer of stress and strain.
I honestly believe that is why it is so important to unplug, unwind, and unleash ourselves from the fetters of daily living in a 24-hour society that truly binds us down in ways we are not even aware of or appreciate the depth of our bondage.
Inviting, tranquil, and as a balm to a soul ravaged by trying to keep up in a too frenetic pace of life.
Nature. God intended for us to be part of this creation because we can learn from the time we take to walk away from our own genius and enjoy His wonders.
August 14, 2018
July 16, 2018
Yielding, capitulating, surrendering
Yielding - giving way to another, waiting your turn, staying back until the right time. Not necessarily dictionary definitions, but what I've experienced.
Capitulating - being forced to bow down due to circumstances despite having fought against them, often due to bullheadedness on my part in a situation where I was in the wrong, but unwilling to admit it due to my stubborn pride.
Surrendering - a choice to give up my assumed positions of power and authority either before OR after the battle is enjoined in order to save self or others from the battle's fray and consequences. Sometimes done as an act of fear for retribution, and sometimes done as an act of contrition realizing what I had planned would have brought great harm to myself and/or others.
I don't find these terms to be offensive. Our ideas about what it means to give place in our heart, mind and soul for the presence, influence and power of Almighty God is to surrender, to capitulate and to yield up self for a greater good beyond the scope and understanding of this world.
During our sacrament meeting yesterday, the 4th verse of “God Loved Us, So He Sent His Son” was referenced in one of the addresses presented to us. The words spoke deeply to my often hardened heart about both the need and the purpose for preparing myself to yield up my all to my Father in Heaven. The words read:
In word and deed He doth require
My will to His, like son to sire,
Be made to bend, and I, as son,
Learn conduct from the Holy One.
Capitulating - being forced to bow down due to circumstances despite having fought against them, often due to bullheadedness on my part in a situation where I was in the wrong, but unwilling to admit it due to my stubborn pride.
Surrendering - a choice to give up my assumed positions of power and authority either before OR after the battle is enjoined in order to save self or others from the battle's fray and consequences. Sometimes done as an act of fear for retribution, and sometimes done as an act of contrition realizing what I had planned would have brought great harm to myself and/or others.
I don't find these terms to be offensive. Our ideas about what it means to give place in our heart, mind and soul for the presence, influence and power of Almighty God is to surrender, to capitulate and to yield up self for a greater good beyond the scope and understanding of this world.
During our sacrament meeting yesterday, the 4th verse of “God Loved Us, So He Sent His Son” was referenced in one of the addresses presented to us. The words spoke deeply to my often hardened heart about both the need and the purpose for preparing myself to yield up my all to my Father in Heaven. The words read:
In word and deed He doth require
My will to His, like son to sire,
Be made to bend, and I, as son,
Learn conduct from the Holy One.
In my words, both the things I think AND the things that proceed forth from thought to spoken words, there is a requirement. I am to turn my self-will to what God designs for me to do.
In my deeds, both the things I plan and those things that I omit, there is a requirement to consider what Christ would actually do in similar situations.
As a son *child* to the Father who gave them life and birth, my desires should be to follow the righteous example I've been set and to willingly do likewise. So why is it so very hard to see that relationship and do likewise? It is that inner prodigal spirit of self-will above all other considerations that pushes away the One who loves me the most, until I am so broken, beaten, and bloodied by my choices that I either crawl back in shame, willing to be but a mere servant to the one who once I called Father, or to shrink from His presence entirely withdrawing so completely as to deny Him and the relationship in an act of rebellion and defiance that equals spiritual and physical death.
I can be made to bend by force of circumstances, and there have been times that has happened. But far sweeter to the taste spiritually are those times I have CHOSEN to bend my will and my desires out of a greater desire to love and serve my Father. It is in those moments that I feel most keenly that relationship AND that furtherance of love and emotional/spiritual connection which opens my heart to how I can become more like Christ and in due season, more like my Father in Heaven through that example.
Is it truly yielding in the strictest sense of the word? Like the classic monkey trap, we cling tightly to what we value as our personal treasure unwilling at times to see that there is far more that can become treasure unto us when we loosen our grasp on the finite in order to be open handed to receive the infinite.
I do that to myself. I shut my hands thinking I have what it is that I need/want, and in that very moment of closure, bat away those greater things of blessing that could have been mine.
Thankfully we are given a great gift of repentance and rescue through the Atonement of Christ.
When I choose to bend, I am blessed and even when I am bending due to my fallen state, I am blessed through that process so long as I do not shut my hands to that which God desires to grant unto me.
It's as a sweet surrender of love that can bring a magnitude of welcoming that every prodigal child can receive when we come to ourselves as a wanted, loved, and much desired child coming home unto that Father who gave us our very lives.
June 20, 2018
Thor and garbage bags
Jared is currently enjoying watching "Thor Ragnarok" while I attempted to do my bit for king and country in exercising. We had previously been outside in the humid Alabama soup that is June in God's country. Did 1.3 miles outside which is not too shabby for a day that feels like taking a sauna in your clothing.
While pedaling more indoors, I've been thinking about what it means to "simplify" our lives.
I'm looking at the things around me that I think are important... many of which I haven't touched in a long, long time.
So is it REALLY important, or am I simply too cowardly to give up my "hoard"?
I'm leaning more toward the latter than the former.
Even now, I'm looking at the items that can easily be let go on the piles that form my desk... gee... that escalated... already threw away a pile of junk!!
Need to keep going and free up my LIFE from these piles of stuff that I cannot take into the eternities anyway! And frankly, my kids won't want them.
With Thor, his issues were by and larged solved by enforcing his will with his mighty hammer. With me... it's more like enforcing freedom with garbage bags and willpower.
While pedaling more indoors, I've been thinking about what it means to "simplify" our lives.
I'm looking at the things around me that I think are important... many of which I haven't touched in a long, long time.
So is it REALLY important, or am I simply too cowardly to give up my "hoard"?
I'm leaning more toward the latter than the former.
Even now, I'm looking at the items that can easily be let go on the piles that form my desk... gee... that escalated... already threw away a pile of junk!!
Need to keep going and free up my LIFE from these piles of stuff that I cannot take into the eternities anyway! And frankly, my kids won't want them.
With Thor, his issues were by and larged solved by enforcing his will with his mighty hammer. With me... it's more like enforcing freedom with garbage bags and willpower.
November 7, 2017
I Could Have Sworn This Was Heaven
What is your version of paradise? What dream, held most dear
to your heart, is what you envision as your “heaven”?
The movie “Field of Dreams” is, to me, a bridge building presentation. Though Hollywood often misses truth in their cinematic efforts, this movie brings to light and understanding the deepest yearning of every beating, human heart – reconciliation through love.
To a boy now a man who wanted to have a connection to his father and the father that didn’t know how to act with a boy born to him in his mature years, their only connection was baseball and that became a painful exercise to a young man growing up in the turbulence of the 1960’s, where so much of what once was accepted as normal life was both questioned and cast aside in favor of a vastly different paradigm which often left people grasping for the human interaction that had likewise been cast aside for something fleeting, something more.
The summation of the movie where John Kinsella asks his son “Is this heaven?” to which his son Ray answers, “No, it’s Iowa.” underscores the misunderstanding about what truly comprises heaven. It isn’t until John says “I could have sworn this was heaven” that Ray begins to see – to truly see with spiritual eyes flung wide open – that it is his FAMILY and those precious connections moment by moment that are the peace and heaven so ardently sought for but seldom found in the 1960’s and beyond to our own day.
The tears roll down my face sitting here watching Ray and his father John have that long postponed catch in the backyard. It is at this moment of their reunion that each little segment of who I am and who I am trying to become is completely wrapped up in all that my parents tried to offer to me, it comes full circle every time I see this movie. It isn’t just the movie itself, but the emotional connection to everything good in my life that came from the two people who loved me the most in my life and with whom I had a catch, with whom I had a cry, with whom I felt the eternal circle of their unconditional love, and by extension the mortal surrogates to show me what it was and is to feel God’s love.
While your personal “Field of Dreams” may not involve a pickle between third and home, or the dream of being the one to hit the ball that saved the game, it really isn’t about baseball at all.
It is about rounding the bases or milestones of life and, in those older years, rounding third to come home to discover that all that is good about your family life IS your heaven, be it Iowa, New York, or a humble back yard in Alabama.
That’s what heaven really is all about.
The movie “Field of Dreams” is, to me, a bridge building presentation. Though Hollywood often misses truth in their cinematic efforts, this movie brings to light and understanding the deepest yearning of every beating, human heart – reconciliation through love.
To a boy now a man who wanted to have a connection to his father and the father that didn’t know how to act with a boy born to him in his mature years, their only connection was baseball and that became a painful exercise to a young man growing up in the turbulence of the 1960’s, where so much of what once was accepted as normal life was both questioned and cast aside in favor of a vastly different paradigm which often left people grasping for the human interaction that had likewise been cast aside for something fleeting, something more.
The summation of the movie where John Kinsella asks his son “Is this heaven?” to which his son Ray answers, “No, it’s Iowa.” underscores the misunderstanding about what truly comprises heaven. It isn’t until John says “I could have sworn this was heaven” that Ray begins to see – to truly see with spiritual eyes flung wide open – that it is his FAMILY and those precious connections moment by moment that are the peace and heaven so ardently sought for but seldom found in the 1960’s and beyond to our own day.
The tears roll down my face sitting here watching Ray and his father John have that long postponed catch in the backyard. It is at this moment of their reunion that each little segment of who I am and who I am trying to become is completely wrapped up in all that my parents tried to offer to me, it comes full circle every time I see this movie. It isn’t just the movie itself, but the emotional connection to everything good in my life that came from the two people who loved me the most in my life and with whom I had a catch, with whom I had a cry, with whom I felt the eternal circle of their unconditional love, and by extension the mortal surrogates to show me what it was and is to feel God’s love.
While your personal “Field of Dreams” may not involve a pickle between third and home, or the dream of being the one to hit the ball that saved the game, it really isn’t about baseball at all.
It is about rounding the bases or milestones of life and, in those older years, rounding third to come home to discover that all that is good about your family life IS your heaven, be it Iowa, New York, or a humble back yard in Alabama.
That’s what heaven really is all about.
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