Honk if You Love Jesus

The bumper stickers used to cover cars everywhere like butter on biscuits. "Honk if you love Jesus!"

Even as a child, I wondered about that. My folks raised me thinking that raucous public displays about God and Jesus weren't exactly kosher. Being reverent in church didn't often include honking the car horn on the Chrysler Imperial.

Nor did we honk our love for the Savior along the road.

Which brings me to another odd moment in life.

When did it become okay to begin honking your horn to urge the car ahead of you into the path of danger because you are too impatient to wait your turn when it is safe? That doesn't sound very much like an "I love Jesus" moment.

While sitting in the LEFT TURN LANE this evening heading to bring home some Chinese food Rick wanted, a dude in a jacked up truck waited precisely the giblet of a nanosecond when the light turned green to begin honking his horn.

I do not have a 'Honk if You Love Jesus!' bumper sticker, airbrush art design or magnetic sign ANYWHERE on the truck I was driving. So, I assume his honking had nothing to do with love.

And most assuredly, he didn't love me one iota.

He was URGING me forward by horn and by gesture which is know as "a Hawaiian hello", flipping someone off, "giving the bird", the middle finger salute, and other less savory names. I am quite certain that had I heeded his ill-timed and ill-advised suggestion and been rendered into a gooey pavement pizza, this gentle soul would have done nothing to ease my suffering, but rather, whipped around me to get to the tobacco shack or whatever else he was rushing to do that was more important than my life.

Drivers have grown colder by the year. Of late, the 'me first, last and always' mentality seems to have trickled down to the tricycle set. Impatience outweighs the need for safety.

That can't possibly show love for Jesus. He wasn't impatient with anyone.

I have a really hard time invisioning the Master of us all sitting in traffic and impatiently jabbing the horn in a rhythmic tattoo of audiological violence that incites others to acrimonious behavior.

There is no way He would offer someone a vulgar gesture or in any way make another driver feel as if they were unworthy of their lane on the highway.

Yet, our cars, which often bear everything from bumper stickers to tiny figurines of patron saints and plastic decals of fish to remind us that we are alleged to be Christians and thus followers of Jesus Christ, play host to our nasty fully mortal behaviors.

If we really love Jesus, can we cut a gap for the stressed lady trying to squeeze into the impossibly long line three lanes of traffic compelled to merge into a single lane while dodging barrels and construction workers?

Instead of honking our love while we drive, can we leave the maniac behind the wheel at home and practice a little Good Samaritan in our actions?

I'm certain that the horn is helpful, like a gentle toot of the horn to let someone know they are backing out into traffic or when someone is a friend of yours and you accompany it with a friendly wave that includes your entire hand and not just one finger of it?

Being honked at for not anticipating the change of lights that signals the opening of a new lane in the autobahn of Alabama just makes me feel scared. If I'm not quick enough to urge my car into motion, will they just whip out a gun and shoot me next? I'm relatively certain that would slow me down even more and probably make a big nasty mess of the moo goo gai pan.

There are lots of nice people on the road. We just don't hear about them in glowing terms because we simply take their behavior and Christ-like driving for granted.

It's the behind the wheel demons that worry me. They masquerade as a believer in the bumper stickers and decals adorning their car, but drive like a member of the Devil's own when they think they aren't making enough progress on the roadways however they choose to define that feeling.

Maybe it really is time to refine how we honk our horns. The first cars didn't even HAVE a horn. While I'm not sure that would be prudent, shouldn't there be some basic instructions about when it is safe and appropriate to honk?

Certainly, some harried driver's ed teacher has mentioned that jack-rabbit driving is just an accident waiting to happen and that the car's horn isn't to be used as a weapon? Oh, that's right, we weren't listening right then because that cutie pie in the second row was looking right at us with their baby blues or chocolate browns or whatever. We thought the car horn was a cute attention getter.

Little did we know it was a way to show impatience, aggravation, anger, malice and lack of care.

Honk if you love Jesus, indeed.

All I know is that the people who use their horns to bully other drivers into actions that are not safe should be confined to a room filled with flatulence and no air holes.

But that probably isn't very Christlike either.

Oh well.

Guess I need to find me a bumper sticker for my own car, but it needs to go on the inside to remind me, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."

Things You Shouldn't Do

Often, the experience comes before the wisdom in my life as I am not too keen on learning from the mistakes of others.

Sometimes, sheer stupidity is the only explanation for the messes and predicaments I find myself in... and sadly, I have no one else upon which to heap the blame. Dang it!

Lessons I have learned about things you shouldn't do... I pass this on because I care.

* Don't go out in your bathrobe on a windy day. Really. No matter how quick you think you will be in retrieving the newspaper, putting out the trash or turning on the sprinklers, you will be offering a free burlesque review to your entire neighborhood.

* Resist the temptation to open your bathroom window and sing in the shower. Sound apparently travels further when you are naked and wet. Makes for interesting conversation at the next neighborhood block party. Not all of it good.

* Avoid hugging the garbage man, no matter how thankful you are that they held up the truck route so you could lug your cans to the road. (This didn't actually happen to me... but to someone I know really well and can use this for blackmail material for all eternity! Muuuahahahahahahahahaha!)

* Refrain from singing out too boldly in an unfamiliar congregation. While you may know the hymn really well and can harmonize to beat the band, they may not be bold singers at their church and they WILL turn around to see who in the heck didn't get the memo regarding actually singing loud praises during the meeting. They might even give you the 'saved for visitors evil eye'.

* Talk to yourself in public. It just doesn't look good... or sane. Of course, now that blue tooth devices have allowed EVERYONE to look like a babbling fool with no connection to reality, that isn't such a big deal anymore. People now have no idea if you are a technologically advanced being or just a regular, garden variety blithering idiot. Either way you can get away with it for a little while unless you start screaming things like "WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE" in a crowded line at Piggly Wiggly. That tends to send the nice men who bring you "special jewelry" to your checkout line.

* Talk on your cell phone in the bathroom stall of a public restroom. I'll confess, I've done this before. Think what you will, but with a handicapped child, you answer a phone call from the school ANYWHERE. I can sanitize the phone later. Unfortunately, this can backfire on you if some idiot in the next stall thinks you are talking TO THEM. Awkward! Scary consequences might happen...and you'd better hope that if you wind up making a 'date' with the person one toilet over, that they are at least good looking!

* Eat fruit in the grocery store before you purchase, take home and wash it thoroughly. Not only is that theft, but some goobery kid with a snotty nose has handled every single grape, tangerine, and bag of store brand trail mix in the ziplock bags... and now, you are consuming.... nevermind.  Eeeeeeew!

* Tell everyone you know how to dance. The 'funky monkey' may have been a big hit back in the day, but it isn't a big hit now. Sure, when the music is playing and you feel it down to your disco shoes and rainbow striped toe-socks, you want to boogie. But trust me,  unless you REALLY know basic ballroom, go to the punch bowl instead. It's safer and less likely to result in a broken hip when you bust a move that will bust you.

This isn't a comprehensive listing, and I'm open to suggestions on more items on what not to do. The reality of our lives is that we are mostly driven by "To Do" lists and pages of "What Not To Do".

If I had them all figured out, I probably wouldn't be blogging. I wouldn't have anything to write about...

We All Bleed Red

Over the last few days of watching the aftermath of the tornadoes fall into place, I have watched raw courage unfold before my eyes. People who literally lost everything of a worldly nature haven't lost their faith, their hope or their humor.

The world continues turning despite their losses, but what has moved me as well is the response. Aid from within and without the state continues to pour into the communities known and unknown that are suffering. The news converges upon the big name cities because we know them, but now, they are trickling out to the towns and communities too small for the average viewer to take note even as they may pass by on the highway every single day in other circumstances.

Now, these strangers are our neighbors in need of our helping hands. These cities that were once just a map dot if even that are places of importance to our heart and soul as we share in the suffering by donating time, food, love and care.

We all bleed red no matter what team we root for, what high school we attended or even if we didn't attend at all. Doesn't matter what church we attend or which services we skip. It only matters that we hold out our hands to our friends whom we haven't met yet.

There are animals in need who have families that may not have survived or who, in the rush to seek personal safety, forgot Fido. They are in shelters and they are being cared for and also need love and comfort and assistance.

They, too, bleed red.

But the bond between us all be we animal or human goes deeper. We are all creations of God who cares for us all. It is His divine plan that we assist one another and make life better for those around us.

Though we share in the happy times readily, it is a blessing to see that we also readily jump in with labor, love and yes, even our own blood, to aid someone who has suffered in ways we will possibly never comprehend.

We all bleed red and we all hurt.

This storm has brought something more powerful than devastation to Alabama. It has brought truckloads, baskets and open hands of love. Hope hasn't been blown away. And through the care we offer to man and beast in this terrible time of suffering, we show our connection to that God who has made us all.

Hope you will enjoy the link. The song by Ronnie Dunn truly moved me. I hope it will move you as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=RVSOOBQB6I0

Nature and Fury

Spring in the tornado alley part of the nation sometimes is a crapshoot. Yesterday was the day we went for broke and came up snake eyes.

The National Weather Service told us in time. But they couldn't tell us the magnitude of what was going to dump down upon us. The reality of it all is never something you can truly speak of because it simply isn't known.

Nature's fury is often spoken of as an aphorism. We tend to 'poo-poo' the reality of what nature can truly create when in complete fury. God is in charge of all aspects of our lives and when the elements rage around us, upon us and through us, He still has His hands upon us.

Yesterday through last night, storms ripped through Alabama like a sharp knife through rice paper. Homes destroyed, property lost, trees turned into so much kindling... and the lives - the lives of people lost to mortality through the violence of the elements gone wild.

I don't know the reasons for these kinds of storms.

I do know that I was scared out of my wits for my innocent son while we rode out a tornado in our van.

I know that I prayed with a fervency that my daily prayers often lack. Perhaps that has something to do with the elements raging... some of us don't talk WITH Our Father in Heaven. Instead, we tend to barter, bargain and bully our way through our prayers trying desperately to tell God what to do and how to do it so we can at last be snatched up and saved into His kingdom.

But yesterday, I prayed. Lacking elecutory skill and fancy verbiage, I prayed literally begging for the life of my son ... and, yes, myself. I prayed for my family members in harm's way. I prayed for the neighbors who likewise suffered the destruction I saw all around me and for all those nameless strangers who gave their life for a storm that they could never defend against.

When we finally arrived home safely, I prayed again thanking God for getting us home safely. I sat and hugged my sweet Jared, thankful for another day with him and his gentle smiling face.

Then, I hugged my dog, Gypsy, and inhaled the stinky fur that needs a bath.

I didn't care!! I was ALIVE to smell the stink and hug my wicked dog!

Gypsy HATES storms. They scare her and make her shake all over. I matched her tremble for tremble yesterday.

The sun is shining today but the reminder of the power and violent fury of nature remains.

I don't call it "mother" nature. No mother I know could produce this kind of horror.

We speak of the forces of nature as if they are human and caring. That usually happens on sunny, beach-like days. We talk about "mother nature gone wild" when things get ugly. But the truth is something different.

The God of nature is Divine and cares beyond mortal comprehension. When His Spirit is grieved, it withdraws from all that is wicked. I believe those are the times when the elements rage. Only God can calm the elements at that time.

I hope that everyone who has suffered loss of family and property feel the comforting arms of God around them now. I know he weeps with them.