I never thought I would be able to sympathize with people in jail. But I do.
This isn’t about me and I totally get it. This is about making sure my little guy heals up completely and without incident. Time well spent.
But I am going crazy.
The four walls of the house are closing in on me and it happens every time Jared’s had some lengthy procedure. Depression is pretty close at hand for me. The recuperation phase of the adventure is always hard on him because it disrupts his schedule. And for Jared, schedule and regularity of circumstance is an essential element. As important as oxygen, the comfort and control of a schedule that he can understand helps him to remain calm and well adjusted.
In order for the process of healing to occur, that schedule goes right out the window. We are tied to the house literally and emotionally while the regular moments of life pass outside the window.
Sort of like a convict looking through the bars of their isolation.
I have been out of the house to buy groceries and one time to escape to my friend’s house. Nothing exciting was going on, it was just a way to get out of the house. I can’t express how good that felt to just not have to be inside my own home.
So I can sympathize with convicts.
They live in a small and isolated circumstance away from everything they have ever known. Sure, their actions have put them away from society and the penalty phase makes this necessary. But sort of like the reality of this circumstance is that same feeling of being penalized – although I know that isn’t the truth. It isn’t me who is being ‘penalized’ or shortchanged at all.
It’s Jared who is the victim here.
He is missing school, missing his beloved bus rides over bumpy roads, missing his friends and teachers, who, by circumstance cannot come to visit him here and in most cases, their families have their hands full dealing with and helping their own special child.
In reality, the comparison between prison and here isn’t adequate. Most prisoners don’t have the Internet, the phone nor books to read. Their time passes more slowly, of that I am convinced.
Were I ever to be convicted of something that put me behind bars, I don’t believe I would be able to survive it. This is hard enough. I cannot imagine the duration of time when there isn’t really an end date to the isolation.
We weren’t meant to be alone.
