Enough already with the dumb emails promising all kinds of things about not buying gasoline!!
If you don't buy gasoline this weekend, it just means you have to fill up Monday when the price may have gone up. The companies will not miss your $100 over the weekend because too many other people whipped in to fill up their cars, trucks and boats.
It doesn't "stick it to the man" or "show the big oil companies" anything. They KNOW you will just come crawling in later to feed the need for gasoline.
Unless you are TOTALLY prepared to live in a primitive fashion, then you aren't prepared to go without oil, gas and other petroleum products.
Think about it.
Bikes, wagons and walking.
EVERYWHERE.
Have an appointment in Huntsville or Birmingham? Pack a lunch or twelve and start hiking several days in advance.
Want to heat your home in the winter? Kiss that propane goodbye and learn to chop wood again.
Relatives live at a distance? Get that conestoga packed for the journey and hope a semi doesn't cut you down on I-15.
The truth is, we have become a commuter nation. We value our mobility and never developed the infrastructure of Europe for shared transportation. No real railroads and no real bus lines in our communities unless they are larger communities with metro rails either.
So we have a love affair with our automobiles going on daily.
We don't appear ready to break up with them either.
Unless we are prepared to be Amish, we don't really mind paying for gasoline for our vehicles no matter what day it is.
Enough with the dumb emails already.
You aren't going to stop buying gas and I'm not either.
April 15, 2011
April 11, 2011
Will you be my friend?
I remember being a 'wittle kid' in first grade. Kinda nervous entering the classroom holding onto Momma's hand, Kari waving as she walked down the hall to second grade, I remember seeing the kind smiles of Mrs. Christopher, Mrs. Scanlon and Mr. Chisolm. They were so good to us 'new kids on the block' yet the scary part was yet to come.
School means that you are leaving the nest and beginning to fly. And you want to be identified in a flock, be that flock great or small. To be alone is to be a target for the predators that exist in every facet of life.
I took the seat marked with my name on a little carefully lettered cardboard plaque. From the time I was born, I don't think I knew what it was to be shy. But I also wanted to feel like the people around me weren't "out to get me" either.
There were a lot of kids in the room. Maybe 24 or so. We were all beginning our school adventure together.
Boys and girls and brand new clothes, pencil boxes and little bookbags filled the spaces.
But who would be friendly first? Would someone help us get to know each other? Would someone smile and break the ice?
Fortunately, first grade friendships came easily. Skipping rope on the playground, playing tag around the trees, running like the wind from base to base after a long hit in softball... they all guaranteed new and old friends played together.
Not so much anymore now that the realities of adult life have settled into place.
While it would be nice to have social introductions complete with mini-biographies to help us choose as we wade through the lives that come into contact with our own, it just doesn't happen that way.
And the older I have grown, the more I realize that having "lots" of friends just doesn't feel the same as it did when I was in elementary school.
Friendships require time. And there are days I am extremely jealous of my time. It's not that I don't feel friendly feelings, it's just that I don't like being told how I should spread those feelings out.
My sisters and brother and I have a blood bond. That's nice, but it isn't what makes us friends. We know enough about each other to love one another through the good, the bad and the blackmail. It's just how it works. Not all siblings enjoy that kind of bond. I get that. But I feel blessed to say that's how my immediate family works.
I also feel blessed beyond reason to add to that immediate family through the careful addition of friends who bring a richness to my life that is better than icing on a cake. They require time and energy to be expended in their behalf because my friends, though the number is few, are all high maintenance... just like me.
That's good though.
If a friendship is to be worth anything at all, it requires time, sacrifices, a few fights, a few cry fests, times where you laugh so much you can't breathe anymore... otherwise it's just a superficial contact.
My biggest issue is that I can care about someone in that casual and superficial way that doesn't wish them any harm but not care deeper.
Does that make me evil?
I sure hope not, because I don't want to be told who has to be my friend. I want the opportunity to develop the friendships I enjoy because of shared interests, different interests, laughter, tears and some hard times that bind us together by the heart.
It comes down to choice.
Choosing to be my friend means that work will be involved because I am not perfect. Far from it. Sadly.
Choosing to be my friend means that just as I will be expected to accept you just as you are, the same requirement will be expected from you in accepting me as is, where is. That doesn't preclude growth and improvements, it just means that if you and I love each other, we realize that any growth that might occur will take time and probably lots of patience to accomplish.
Unfortunately, there are people who 'audition' me for friendship potential. They attempt to change me and make me into what they think I ought to be in order to fit into the requirements they have for their friends.
Balky as a southern mule, I resist this molding and shaping because well-meaning as it might seem to be, it isn't by MY choice nor is it by MY design. I don't want to be FORCED to be your friend!
That isn't friendship at all!!
Friendships take TIME.
Friendships take ENERGY.
And most of all, you actually have to LOVE the person enough to desire to become 'of one heart and one mind' in the process. Sadly, I don't desire that relationship with every single person I have ever met.
I struggle in my emotions over this because I feel on the one hand like it isn't Christ-like to feel this way, but then on the other hand, I realize that I cannot fill the emotional cup of need that every single person has. It isn't possible.
I also confess that the tiny, selfish, evil part of me doesn't really want to try to do it, either.
Sometimes, people rub me the wrong way for reasons that I cannot define. To be fair, I also rub people the wrong way and frankly, I don't care most of the time because I don't think we are all supposed to be bosom buddies. That just doesn't compute.
It doesn't mean I wish other people ill will. That really isn't in my nature. Despite the direct and blunt approach I take to life in general, I do feel badly when something I have done has hurt another person, be they friend or stranger. But I cannot be held responsible for the people who carry an emotional target around in front of them just daring the world to offend them in some way so that they can play the "victim" card because I am not what they wanted me to be to them.
I want and need friends. I have them. There are circles of interconnected people in my life whom I am extremely blessed to love. They have a piece of my heart that is individual to that relationship. It is theirs for so long as they wish to have me in their lives.
But if I am reluctant to pass out pieces of my heart without developing a relationship over time, it is because I realize that there are limits because I am mortal. There are also limits because of personal circumstances.
I can't be all things to all people even in the best of times. And only my deepest and truest friends will put up with me during the worst of times. It is an epic truth worthy of Dickens.
When someone reaches out in friendship, sometimes things just gel. It defies both description and verbage. Sometimes the reaching doesn't quite make a connection. That doesn't mean either person is wrong, it just means that maybe that connection isn't the one for you.
Attraction to people who become part of our lives is a complicated process. Sometimes things just fall into place guided by a higher power. Other times, they require work and a lot of it.
I still come back to that same moment in time. Someone asks if a friendship is possible. Is it wrong and/or evil to say no?
There isn't a simple answer to this one, folks.
We can be kind to everyone and considerate of their feelings. But that doesn't necessarily equate to friendship. The bonds that we develop in our lives are extremely personal to us. No one on the outside SHOULD get to define them. That would be anachronistic and just plain wrong.
To be forced into a 'friendship' is a lie of the blackest hue. For if you don't CARE for that person, how can it be friendship? If you are not invested in them and their life, how can you know their heart?
Will you feel the emotional needs of one who is a stranger to you? I believe that to be an impossible task. We cannot fill the cup of another if our vessel is empty.
Are we truly supposed to be that kind of friends to everyone? If someone can figure that out, I'd be most appreciative. The longer I think about it, the more my head hurts and my heart aches for what I cannot be.
So we are back to the original question.
"Will you be my friend?"
To which the answer is dictated by truth.
"It depends".
School means that you are leaving the nest and beginning to fly. And you want to be identified in a flock, be that flock great or small. To be alone is to be a target for the predators that exist in every facet of life.
I took the seat marked with my name on a little carefully lettered cardboard plaque. From the time I was born, I don't think I knew what it was to be shy. But I also wanted to feel like the people around me weren't "out to get me" either.
There were a lot of kids in the room. Maybe 24 or so. We were all beginning our school adventure together.
Boys and girls and brand new clothes, pencil boxes and little bookbags filled the spaces.
But who would be friendly first? Would someone help us get to know each other? Would someone smile and break the ice?
Fortunately, first grade friendships came easily. Skipping rope on the playground, playing tag around the trees, running like the wind from base to base after a long hit in softball... they all guaranteed new and old friends played together.
Not so much anymore now that the realities of adult life have settled into place.
While it would be nice to have social introductions complete with mini-biographies to help us choose as we wade through the lives that come into contact with our own, it just doesn't happen that way.
And the older I have grown, the more I realize that having "lots" of friends just doesn't feel the same as it did when I was in elementary school.
Friendships require time. And there are days I am extremely jealous of my time. It's not that I don't feel friendly feelings, it's just that I don't like being told how I should spread those feelings out.
My sisters and brother and I have a blood bond. That's nice, but it isn't what makes us friends. We know enough about each other to love one another through the good, the bad and the blackmail. It's just how it works. Not all siblings enjoy that kind of bond. I get that. But I feel blessed to say that's how my immediate family works.
I also feel blessed beyond reason to add to that immediate family through the careful addition of friends who bring a richness to my life that is better than icing on a cake. They require time and energy to be expended in their behalf because my friends, though the number is few, are all high maintenance... just like me.
That's good though.
If a friendship is to be worth anything at all, it requires time, sacrifices, a few fights, a few cry fests, times where you laugh so much you can't breathe anymore... otherwise it's just a superficial contact.
My biggest issue is that I can care about someone in that casual and superficial way that doesn't wish them any harm but not care deeper.
Does that make me evil?
I sure hope not, because I don't want to be told who has to be my friend. I want the opportunity to develop the friendships I enjoy because of shared interests, different interests, laughter, tears and some hard times that bind us together by the heart.
It comes down to choice.
Choosing to be my friend means that work will be involved because I am not perfect. Far from it. Sadly.
Choosing to be my friend means that just as I will be expected to accept you just as you are, the same requirement will be expected from you in accepting me as is, where is. That doesn't preclude growth and improvements, it just means that if you and I love each other, we realize that any growth that might occur will take time and probably lots of patience to accomplish.
Unfortunately, there are people who 'audition' me for friendship potential. They attempt to change me and make me into what they think I ought to be in order to fit into the requirements they have for their friends.
Balky as a southern mule, I resist this molding and shaping because well-meaning as it might seem to be, it isn't by MY choice nor is it by MY design. I don't want to be FORCED to be your friend!
That isn't friendship at all!!
Friendships take TIME.
Friendships take ENERGY.
And most of all, you actually have to LOVE the person enough to desire to become 'of one heart and one mind' in the process. Sadly, I don't desire that relationship with every single person I have ever met.
I struggle in my emotions over this because I feel on the one hand like it isn't Christ-like to feel this way, but then on the other hand, I realize that I cannot fill the emotional cup of need that every single person has. It isn't possible.
I also confess that the tiny, selfish, evil part of me doesn't really want to try to do it, either.
Sometimes, people rub me the wrong way for reasons that I cannot define. To be fair, I also rub people the wrong way and frankly, I don't care most of the time because I don't think we are all supposed to be bosom buddies. That just doesn't compute.
It doesn't mean I wish other people ill will. That really isn't in my nature. Despite the direct and blunt approach I take to life in general, I do feel badly when something I have done has hurt another person, be they friend or stranger. But I cannot be held responsible for the people who carry an emotional target around in front of them just daring the world to offend them in some way so that they can play the "victim" card because I am not what they wanted me to be to them.
I want and need friends. I have them. There are circles of interconnected people in my life whom I am extremely blessed to love. They have a piece of my heart that is individual to that relationship. It is theirs for so long as they wish to have me in their lives.
But if I am reluctant to pass out pieces of my heart without developing a relationship over time, it is because I realize that there are limits because I am mortal. There are also limits because of personal circumstances.
I can't be all things to all people even in the best of times. And only my deepest and truest friends will put up with me during the worst of times. It is an epic truth worthy of Dickens.
When someone reaches out in friendship, sometimes things just gel. It defies both description and verbage. Sometimes the reaching doesn't quite make a connection. That doesn't mean either person is wrong, it just means that maybe that connection isn't the one for you.
Attraction to people who become part of our lives is a complicated process. Sometimes things just fall into place guided by a higher power. Other times, they require work and a lot of it.
I still come back to that same moment in time. Someone asks if a friendship is possible. Is it wrong and/or evil to say no?
There isn't a simple answer to this one, folks.
We can be kind to everyone and considerate of their feelings. But that doesn't necessarily equate to friendship. The bonds that we develop in our lives are extremely personal to us. No one on the outside SHOULD get to define them. That would be anachronistic and just plain wrong.
To be forced into a 'friendship' is a lie of the blackest hue. For if you don't CARE for that person, how can it be friendship? If you are not invested in them and their life, how can you know their heart?
Will you feel the emotional needs of one who is a stranger to you? I believe that to be an impossible task. We cannot fill the cup of another if our vessel is empty.
Are we truly supposed to be that kind of friends to everyone? If someone can figure that out, I'd be most appreciative. The longer I think about it, the more my head hurts and my heart aches for what I cannot be.
So we are back to the original question.
"Will you be my friend?"
To which the answer is dictated by truth.
"It depends".
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