My skin isn't thick enough and my faith is weak.
How on earth do the strong people get that way?
Right now, my faith level is about a quart and a half low and I am finding it hard to believe that anything I would ever come up with saying would ever be of use to someone who is seeking the truth.
Are imperfect missionaries useful?
I have shared the little candlelight of faith and understanding I have with others when I felt so prompted to. But I haven't seen it make a difference to them. And sometimes that makes it hard for me to understand why.
Why would I feel like I should share what I hold so dear only to see them politely put it aside and go on without even taking the little light I am offering.
Perhaps the light I hold is so fragile that it can't withstand the harsh winds of the world and simply puffs out into a thin tendril of smoky memory that is soon vanquished and gone.
I don't know.
But I know what I believe.
Sadly, me believing something is true isn't sufficient to help anyone else to believe it.
And forcing the human mind isn't too good. The results of force are seldom what we had hoped for anyway. Like the old adage says "A man who's forced against his will is of the same opinion still."
I don't want someone to believe what I believe as the price of 'getting along' with me. I hope I am open enough that we can be different and respectful and still be friends.
But it hurts to feel the light and understanding that has been shared with me sit dormant and it never make any headway into the lives of those who mean so much to me in the world as a whole.
While I understand I am an imperfect vessel, surely some part of me is good enough to be of service?
I don't mean to be whiney and pitiful.
But some days, having the faith to plant the seeds is hard to come by. And having the faith, hope and resiliance to believe that the flowers of faith can grow and flourish is dim at best.
I think of the words of a hymn I know: have I done any good in the world today? Have I helped anyone in need? Have I cheered up the sad? Or made someone feel glad? If not, I have failed indeed...
just something rambling around in the windmills of my mind...
November 22, 2008
November 21, 2008
Budgetary issues
Realization that our world is changing is a constant presence in my life.
What has been a long, hard-fought and frequently bitter political season has been punctuated by the election results naming our next commander in chief.
I didn't pick him.
But, as an American, I am honor bound to support him when he is right, and pray for him when he is wrong - to paraphrase and adulterate a quote by Lincoln.
I worry that his approach to cabinet level posts and the vetting process used to pick people far left of center is nothing more than the business as usual partisan approach that keeps our nation mired in the stupid belief that if we throw enough money at it - the problem (Whatever that might be) will simply disappear. This isn't change we can believe in. This is party politics as usual with people who can play the game.
Taxation will drive businesses away from the American marketplace and businesses can spend a fraction of their delightful bottom line on salaries for people in third and second world markets who are just thankful to be working without the benefit of a union gorilla strong arming the managment into paying salaries that are unreasonable.
Then there is the issue of corporate talking heads preparing a golden road for themselves and a likewise golden hued parachute to fly away beneath when the company that made everything so pleasant for them goes belly up due to board and leadership stupidity.
The people I worry about are the ones who made the corporations profitable and hoped to enjoy a life of leisure in their golden years, but who now must rinse and reuse their tinfoil to make ends meet.
Why does ANY corporate talking head who polishes a chair with his ass need a paycheck that his higher than twice the line workers salary?
Why do they need a separate cafeteria or dining room and for heaven's sake, why do they need a private jet????
Don't these 'brilliant strategists' realize they could go onto Expedia.com and get airline tickets the way the 'little people' do?
Talk about stupid.
It's like the scandal a few years ago in the Department of Defense where some idiot contractors jacked up the price on getting materials and goods to our men and women who serve our nations interests.
How in the devil can they possibly justify charging them hundreds of dollars for a hammer, when any fool in the world can get one for lest than $30?
Part of it is because these talking heads haven't ever had to live and die by the balance in the checkbook and make sacrifices because you can't afford to 'do it all'.
Part of it is simply arrogance, believing they somehow DESERVE the huge bucks they are knocking down.
I'd bet my eye teeth the average military man or woman would love to have a fraction of the money that is thrown out into the void by our leaders who don't demand accountability or seem to understand what that word is in any sense.
One wonders if those delightful educations they brag about managed to include even one class on consumer math?
You can't spend what you don't have ... eventually the piper must be paid and in my world, jail would be the alternative for those who take goods and services without the money to pay for either one.
Just rambling this morning.
Either that or the cold medicine is talking.
You decide which one.
What has been a long, hard-fought and frequently bitter political season has been punctuated by the election results naming our next commander in chief.
I didn't pick him.
But, as an American, I am honor bound to support him when he is right, and pray for him when he is wrong - to paraphrase and adulterate a quote by Lincoln.
I worry that his approach to cabinet level posts and the vetting process used to pick people far left of center is nothing more than the business as usual partisan approach that keeps our nation mired in the stupid belief that if we throw enough money at it - the problem (Whatever that might be) will simply disappear. This isn't change we can believe in. This is party politics as usual with people who can play the game.
Taxation will drive businesses away from the American marketplace and businesses can spend a fraction of their delightful bottom line on salaries for people in third and second world markets who are just thankful to be working without the benefit of a union gorilla strong arming the managment into paying salaries that are unreasonable.
Then there is the issue of corporate talking heads preparing a golden road for themselves and a likewise golden hued parachute to fly away beneath when the company that made everything so pleasant for them goes belly up due to board and leadership stupidity.
The people I worry about are the ones who made the corporations profitable and hoped to enjoy a life of leisure in their golden years, but who now must rinse and reuse their tinfoil to make ends meet.
Why does ANY corporate talking head who polishes a chair with his ass need a paycheck that his higher than twice the line workers salary?
Why do they need a separate cafeteria or dining room and for heaven's sake, why do they need a private jet????
Don't these 'brilliant strategists' realize they could go onto Expedia.com and get airline tickets the way the 'little people' do?
Talk about stupid.
It's like the scandal a few years ago in the Department of Defense where some idiot contractors jacked up the price on getting materials and goods to our men and women who serve our nations interests.
How in the devil can they possibly justify charging them hundreds of dollars for a hammer, when any fool in the world can get one for lest than $30?
Part of it is because these talking heads haven't ever had to live and die by the balance in the checkbook and make sacrifices because you can't afford to 'do it all'.
Part of it is simply arrogance, believing they somehow DESERVE the huge bucks they are knocking down.
I'd bet my eye teeth the average military man or woman would love to have a fraction of the money that is thrown out into the void by our leaders who don't demand accountability or seem to understand what that word is in any sense.
One wonders if those delightful educations they brag about managed to include even one class on consumer math?
You can't spend what you don't have ... eventually the piper must be paid and in my world, jail would be the alternative for those who take goods and services without the money to pay for either one.
Just rambling this morning.
Either that or the cold medicine is talking.
You decide which one.
November 17, 2008
Bringing Up The Rear
No. This has nothing to do with a new exercise.
Actually, this is more about the last wagon in the caravan, the last runner in the coliseum, the last pony in the derby.
Victorious people seldom consider those who make them look so damn good.
How exciting would it be to go to Talledega and see ONE car for 500 laps?
Yippee.
A possible (yawn) hoorah.
Or how about the Olympic games with only one 'competitor' in an event. What's the incentive to beat your time if you are the only one who is in the event? Most of us lack the motivational skill to be a lifetime subscription to 'personal cheerleader daily'.
Even the most wonderful cheerleading people I know have bad days and suffer some depressing moments.
So let's take a look at those who bring up the rear.
While not celebrated in story or legend, those who are last aren't quitters. They just didn't finish when the medals were handed out. Instead they just finished.
They are the farmers who kept plowing with hope in their heart and a firm belief that one day it would all work out. Even if it never did.
They are the people who work every single day in a job that doesn't ever get noticed - until it isn't done - and then they are railed against instead of thanked for the brilliant days when they DID perform up to par and no one noticed at all.
They are the kids who never see the honor roll, but who become honorable citizens who defend, protect and preserve all that we hold dear in our nation.
They are the kids who warm the bench and keep cheering enthusiastically even when they only get to play when the team is either so far ahead or so far behind that anything they do will never make a difference.
They are the women who cook so many meals that they have forgotten for a family who is on the run to yet another activity and are thanked in passing like a jet practicing take-offs and landings at Miramar.
They are the parents who keep supporting wayward children without enabling them and have calloused knees from the prayers that someday, somehow this child or adult would find the courage to buy a clue.
They are the checker at the local discount store who has been on their feet all day at minimum wage only to see their check disappear each week just to make and pay for a bare living.
The folks in the back of the pack are eating the dust of the success stories. They are the ones who, despite being nourished on a lot of unfulfilled dreams, keep plugging along firmly believing that tomorrow just 'might be the day'.
They get up each day and start fresh just waiting for their ship to come in.
The people in the rear may arrive last, but they arrive nonetheless.
And what do they get for their calloused, worn and abused bodies, minds and spirits?
No earthly token will ever suffice for the folks who bring up the rear. Instead, I envision a scenario where all who have been out front basking in the warm glow of trophies and accolades are all standing in line with the folks who are, even then, bringing up the rear.
St. Pete in his gentle voice begins to explain the procedure for entering the celestial realms.
Those who have enjoyed earthly fame and fortune, who's personal collection of hardware and awards could fill a dump truck and who have been blessed to be front runners through life will be asked to take one step to their right out of the line.
When this is accomplished, they will smile benignly upon those who were NOT in front of the race to eternity and wait to receive their crown of glory. But it will not come.
Instead, they will be given the task of robing and crowning those faithful few who just kept putting one foot in front of the other because it was the right thing to do - even when no one noticed.
The front runners will hand out the hymnbooks and the sandals, then stand aside as those who served as the wind beneath the wings of the winners in mortal life are now asked to serve the people who made it possible for the success of another - and always with no thought of personal gain.
I have no proof that will happen.
I have no evidence to support it.
But it would be just recompense for all of those in the Family of God who made sure that someone else was able to be the lead dog in the pack, even if it meant they, personally, became invisible.
Time to give up a cheer
to those who bring up the rear
Time to give up a shout
for those who worked it all out!
Put your hands in the air
for their unselfish care
clap your hands, stomp your feet
for those who made life sweet!
I don't know if there are pompoms in heaven.
But I think there should be.
Even those who bring up the rear deserve a finish line and the cheers of the crowd.
It's only fair.
Actually, this is more about the last wagon in the caravan, the last runner in the coliseum, the last pony in the derby.
Victorious people seldom consider those who make them look so damn good.
How exciting would it be to go to Talledega and see ONE car for 500 laps?
Yippee.
A possible (yawn) hoorah.
Or how about the Olympic games with only one 'competitor' in an event. What's the incentive to beat your time if you are the only one who is in the event? Most of us lack the motivational skill to be a lifetime subscription to 'personal cheerleader daily'.
Even the most wonderful cheerleading people I know have bad days and suffer some depressing moments.
So let's take a look at those who bring up the rear.
While not celebrated in story or legend, those who are last aren't quitters. They just didn't finish when the medals were handed out. Instead they just finished.
They are the farmers who kept plowing with hope in their heart and a firm belief that one day it would all work out. Even if it never did.
They are the people who work every single day in a job that doesn't ever get noticed - until it isn't done - and then they are railed against instead of thanked for the brilliant days when they DID perform up to par and no one noticed at all.
They are the kids who never see the honor roll, but who become honorable citizens who defend, protect and preserve all that we hold dear in our nation.
They are the kids who warm the bench and keep cheering enthusiastically even when they only get to play when the team is either so far ahead or so far behind that anything they do will never make a difference.
They are the women who cook so many meals that they have forgotten for a family who is on the run to yet another activity and are thanked in passing like a jet practicing take-offs and landings at Miramar.
They are the parents who keep supporting wayward children without enabling them and have calloused knees from the prayers that someday, somehow this child or adult would find the courage to buy a clue.
They are the checker at the local discount store who has been on their feet all day at minimum wage only to see their check disappear each week just to make and pay for a bare living.
The folks in the back of the pack are eating the dust of the success stories. They are the ones who, despite being nourished on a lot of unfulfilled dreams, keep plugging along firmly believing that tomorrow just 'might be the day'.
They get up each day and start fresh just waiting for their ship to come in.
The people in the rear may arrive last, but they arrive nonetheless.
And what do they get for their calloused, worn and abused bodies, minds and spirits?
No earthly token will ever suffice for the folks who bring up the rear. Instead, I envision a scenario where all who have been out front basking in the warm glow of trophies and accolades are all standing in line with the folks who are, even then, bringing up the rear.
St. Pete in his gentle voice begins to explain the procedure for entering the celestial realms.
Those who have enjoyed earthly fame and fortune, who's personal collection of hardware and awards could fill a dump truck and who have been blessed to be front runners through life will be asked to take one step to their right out of the line.
When this is accomplished, they will smile benignly upon those who were NOT in front of the race to eternity and wait to receive their crown of glory. But it will not come.
Instead, they will be given the task of robing and crowning those faithful few who just kept putting one foot in front of the other because it was the right thing to do - even when no one noticed.
The front runners will hand out the hymnbooks and the sandals, then stand aside as those who served as the wind beneath the wings of the winners in mortal life are now asked to serve the people who made it possible for the success of another - and always with no thought of personal gain.
I have no proof that will happen.
I have no evidence to support it.
But it would be just recompense for all of those in the Family of God who made sure that someone else was able to be the lead dog in the pack, even if it meant they, personally, became invisible.
Time to give up a cheer
to those who bring up the rear
Time to give up a shout
for those who worked it all out!
Put your hands in the air
for their unselfish care
clap your hands, stomp your feet
for those who made life sweet!
I don't know if there are pompoms in heaven.
But I think there should be.
Even those who bring up the rear deserve a finish line and the cheers of the crowd.
It's only fair.
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