Legally Blond

I have never claimed to understand the inner workings of the process of law.

It is beyond me how giblety Latin phrases can bring help or harm depending upon how they are used and which application they bring to bear.

But I do know that there are a great body of lawyers who fit the Bible's and Book of Mormon's description of them really well.

Matthew 22:35 talks about a slick man whom I am SURE would have advertised on television in a sharkskin suit if only either were available in ancient Jerusalem. He tempted Christ to say something that the Pharisees could twist into a blasphemy or legal corruption with which to justify slaying him. He asked which was the greatest of the laws. Jesus Christ not only told him the answer to the greatest law, but also to the second greatest and thus changed the flow of human endeavor in the holy writ by specifically outlining our personal conduct: we are to love the Lord and our fellowmen and esteem our fellows as ourselves.

In Luke 10:25, we read about a lawyer who attempted to use his assumed brilliance to make the Savior say something he could press a suit against him for uttering. Didn't work out so well. He was treated to a lesson on taking care of the wounded instead of fleecing them for their loot.

Alma 10 shares a scathing rebuke from Amulek to the legal profession who was trying their best to enforce their will through corruption. In verse 17, Amulek shares this opinion of the Book of Mormon lawyers... and it ain't good. "O ye wicked and perverse generation, ye lawyers and hypocrites, for ye are laying the foundations of the devil; for ye are laying traps and snares to catch the holy ones of God."

OUCH.

Lawyers and hypocrites.

Yet when you see the modern day advertisements telling people "GET WHAT YOU ARE ENTITLED TO! GET MONEY TODAY FOR YOUR PAIN AND SUFFERING! CALL ME AND I'LL WORK FOR YOU!", it sort of makes it sound like one phone call can change everything from crap to honey, sunshine and roses.

Money can't fix everything. And in truth, most people do not possess the good sense that God intended them to use when money is involved. They see dollar signs and go hog wild and then wonder where their loot went when their are nothing but moths left in their wallet after the end of the Vegas bender.

Because we were told that we needed to get some specific paperwork in place RIGHT NOW DO NOT DELAY LIFE HANGS IN THE BALANCE FOR JARED, I was calling various legal firms to seek vital information regarding the specifics and the cost of this 'essential' paperwork. The level of panic in me was rising to a fever pitch in the belief that we would not be able to ask for the things Jared needed for lack of a simple piece of legal paper.

Turns out, after talking to a very well informed lawyer who is neither a viper or a hypocrite, that there isn't such a huge rush after all. Since he has YEARS worth of experience in handling these types of cases, not only was he well versed in what to do, but also kindly enough to tell us that there are state laws that cover us and our son. Yes, we are protected to make medical and financial decisions for our disabled son. No, we do not need to bankrupt ourselves to get the paperwork in order by noon tomorrow or risk forfeiture of all that we know. He said that he also recommended that "we get a lawyer across from your courthouse who knows the judge". He said that way, they can handle it quickly and without any undue expense or fuss when the time comes. The lawyer also assured me that there are a great number of people willing to do any kind of legal work for money, but it isn't all necessary nor is it always helpful.

In the due course of time, and when we have the funds saved, we will indeed get the paperwork done to ensure that we have a legal recourse for Jared's long term needs and a conservatorship for his financial issues. The lawyer indicated, however, that most people whom he sees are over 70 years old and have one foot in the grave and are concerned for the adult "child" they will be leaving behind.

We aren't there quite yet...

However, I believe in being prepare in all things insofar as possible, so we will diligently save up the money (and it ain't cheap, folks!!) so that we can pay CASH at the time of the services rendered to have it done. That way, it can be done both in WISDOM and IN ORDER. My heart isn't pounding so loudly in my ears anymore.

And now, I actually feel calm. I think this says it all. "The LORD will give strength unto his people; the LORD will bless his people with peace." Psalms 29:11.

I also thank God that not all lawyers are only in it for the sharkskin suits and the money.

Old lady glasses leashes

I have officially become the old lady who needs a leash on her glasses.

I always wondered about the level of dotty behavior required in order to need a leash to remember that your glasses were hung around your neck.

But after spending the greater part of half an hour looking for my glasses, I realize I am the dotty old bag who needs the old lady glasses leashes in order to keep from looking more stupid than usual.

They weren't on top of my head.

They weren't tucked one legged down the front of my shirt (a favorite "where did I put them" location that results in fingerprint smeared lenses as soon as I discover them).

The glasses didn't lie askew atop my desk (or more precisely the rubble of my life atop my desk).

Where did I leave those glasses?

I hate not having them and worse yet, I hate having them. Oh, how I miss 20/20 vision!!

I never had fingerprints on my corneas!!

Finally, after looking high and low and in places I don't ever recall having placed my glasses, I found them.

In the laundry room.

Atop the whites.

At this point, I'm not sure if I planned to throw them into the wash for a quick bleach run with the bath towels that accompany me to the gym where there may well be a fungus among us or if I was hoping that somehow a quick spin cycle would somehow right the slightly askew left arm or leg of the glasses that hasn't ever quite been right since I dropped them.

Either way, I now have my glasses back.

They are right here beside me on the des......

HEY!?!?! Where did they go?

They were just here a minute ago!!

Oh! Wait! Here they are! ON MY FACE!

I think I need a room in the hospital ward for the criminally clueless...