Old lady glasses leashes

I have officially become the old lady who needs a leash on her glasses.

I always wondered about the level of dotty behavior required in order to need a leash to remember that your glasses were hung around your neck.

But after spending the greater part of half an hour looking for my glasses, I realize I am the dotty old bag who needs the old lady glasses leashes in order to keep from looking more stupid than usual.

They weren't on top of my head.

They weren't tucked one legged down the front of my shirt (a favorite "where did I put them" location that results in fingerprint smeared lenses as soon as I discover them).

The glasses didn't lie askew atop my desk (or more precisely the rubble of my life atop my desk).

Where did I leave those glasses?

I hate not having them and worse yet, I hate having them. Oh, how I miss 20/20 vision!!

I never had fingerprints on my corneas!!

Finally, after looking high and low and in places I don't ever recall having placed my glasses, I found them.

In the laundry room.

Atop the whites.

At this point, I'm not sure if I planned to throw them into the wash for a quick bleach run with the bath towels that accompany me to the gym where there may well be a fungus among us or if I was hoping that somehow a quick spin cycle would somehow right the slightly askew left arm or leg of the glasses that hasn't ever quite been right since I dropped them.

Either way, I now have my glasses back.

They are right here beside me on the des......

HEY!?!?! Where did they go?

They were just here a minute ago!!

Oh! Wait! Here they are! ON MY FACE!

I think I need a room in the hospital ward for the criminally clueless...