Being at home with Jared and doing laundry today, I didn't see any real need to dress for success. After all, I was throwing dirty towels and clothing into the washer and they don't seem to be impressed if I"m dressed all shi shi la la or simply wearing my bathrobe.
Today's morning attire was blue plaid PJ pants and a V-neck t-shirt.
I will admit that we were slipping into afternoon as I fed Jared the first half of his lunch. I didn't care, I had plenty of time between loads to shower and put on shorts and a T-shirt after I got Jared underway.
What I neglected to account for was the wrestling match of Jared's strong arm tactics to my weak side defenses (my right shoulder has rotator cuff damage) and trying to keep his arms down from knocking into the feeding tube and baptizing everyone in the protein drink that Jared consumes for his meals.
During this Herculean battle for mealtime supremacy, Jared had a coughing fit and the accompanying phlegm that requires the use of the suction machine we keep by the bedside.
Because I believe keeping his equipment clean and sterilized is important, I have a big ol' bottle of mint mouthwash right by the machine to clean the suction tube out between uses. The idea being that not only would the solution kill off the germs in the tube like it alleges to kill off the germs in the mouth, but that the pleasant mint aroma would be better than the sometimes unpleasant aroma of germy phlegm.
After suctioning Jared out to ensure his airway was clean as a whistle, I pulled the bottle of mouthwash over and unscrewed the lid.
It was then the unheard voices announced to Jared "LET'S GET READY TO RUUUUUUMMMMMBBBBBLLLLLLLEEEEEE!!!"
Since I missed the verbal cue, I was unprepared for the sudden battle royale that Jared offered me. As a result, the open container of mouthwash and the partial syringe of formula went flying. Amidst the laughter of my very hilarious son, I was screaming "Not cool, Jared!! Not cool at all!!" His evil laughter was undeterred.
By the time our battle scene had been cut and print for the invisible cameras, I was covered with mint mouthwash... as was the bed, the rails and the floor.
As nice as I am sure the scent of minty fresh breath is, I'm not sure a 5 foot 7 inch mint scented, pajama wearing woman is... well... appealing.
My eyes were watering and my head was spinning from the overwhelming and somewhat gag making amount of mint scent floating through the room.
Jared's laughter wasn't helping any either. That kid is his own best fan. Hilarious. To HIM.
I mopped up me, the bed, the floor, the "splash zone" and migrated to the laundry room to wash some of the offending mint down the drain.
Jared was still laughing.
Don't tell me that kid has no clue what's going on around him!! He knows... and he sometimes uses those little moments of minor inattention to his GREAT advantage.
Fortunately, I have had a bath now.
I don't think I'm still minty fresh, but the way Gypsy is looking at my right leg and smiling, I"m not sure... next to hot buttered toast, little mints are her favorite snack.
And I'm beginning to suspect I didn't apply enough soap to my leg to completely remove the scent...
Oh well.
At least I can honestly say that the bottle of mouthwash was exhausted for a good cause. Jared has laughed a lot today. So it's all good.
Minty Fresh, indeed.
