Online shopping is a form of escapism. No crowds jostling my elbow for the cardigan I am trying to size, no irritated people expressing their desire to be home, and most definitely no store hours to accommodate.
I like the immediacy of online shopping. If it's in stock, there is a little indicator to tell how many of whatever is in stock in their warehouse in Dubuque.
This allows me to sit idly sipping peppermint tea and shopping in my pajamas and sox while the rest of the civilized and not so civil world pounds the putty out of someone for a three dollar candle that is on sale for a nickle. Never mind that the scent is liver and bacon and you never would have considered it before, but because it's marked down to a nickle SOMEONE will be getting this delightful gem all wrapped up and tied with a bow.
IT WAS ON SALE!!
Yeah!
Several someones will receive gifts that make no sense because they were on sale. Not because any thought went into the purchase of said gift. Nope. Nosiree Bob! It was a matter of box-checking, money saving, penny pinching perfection. Without another thought at all.
Aunt Mildred will be receiving that delightful hand knit dog fur sweater that was only a buck twenty-five on sale!! It doesn't matter that she is so allergic that her hives break out in hives. IT WAS ON SALE!!!!
Don't you people understand? A sale price is only good if the item being sold is worth anything to begin with...
Spare me your Christmas Eve I shopped for you at eleven-thirty naked lady mudflaps that you thought were oh so wonderful. First of all, I have no semi to which to attach them and secondly, the van looks bad enough without adding mudflaps to it, and a big final thirdly, if I wanted mudflaps at all, I'm more into Yosemite Sam or Bugs Bunny. I do have standards, you know!
Now, while I was preparing to brave both the icy cold and the rabid shoppers, an odd thing happened. The plan was to go out and bring home the supply of food and sundry goods to keep us from having a mutiny. Reaching into the recesses of my closet, I pulled out and
slipped on a coat I haven't worn in over a year. Feeling something odd in the left jacket pocket, I unzipped it to discover that there was MONEY in the pocket! WOO HOO! MONEY!!
To be on the safe side, I checked the other pockets of coats hanging in my closet just to make sure no money goes unspent during the peak shopping season before the Holy time of Christmas is actually upon us.
I didn't find any other money. Serendipity is like that. You get a blush of excitement and a happy surprise, but it can't be longer lasting. If it hung around, you'd never appreciate it.
Sort of like learning to appreciate the benefits of shopping without the agony of fisticuffs over an item that no one truly wants but is motivated by adrenalin to purchase. It is why I like shopping online. I can take my time looking, instead of being lemming-like forced into purchases that I can't ever justify. The rushing frenzy makes me buy stupid things when I am in a crowded store!
As an example - no one truly wants that disgusting farting Santa or a three pack of festive holiday undies with a matching bow tie (Just what is THAT combo supposed to suggest? I'm sure I don't want to know why you'd need a ratio of THREE pair of undies to the ONE tie!).
People who receive this type of holiday splendor smile and act happy, but it's just because they want to be more polite to you than you were to them when you paraded out the revolting desperation gift that says everything but how much class you have.
Another trifle... don't go shopping with someone who has no taste. I mean that seriously.
Everyone has someone in their circle of friends and acquaintances who simply has no taste, no couth and precious little understanding of why you don't just wildly spend money to buy a gift that has nothing to do with either the person or their likes and interests. I just hope I am NOT that kind of friend to someone else... the one everyone knows is a social pariah, but no one speaks up because they are too kind.
It may be one reason gift cards are popular. It's a way to give something to someone without either fighting the maddening crowds or exposing one's own lack of culture and refinement. It's a kind of gifting anonymity. Oddly soothing, and a shield of protection from your own bad taste.
I don't mind gift cards. They are far easier to use and explain than the naked lady mudflaps.
December 1, 2009
November 25, 2009
Thanksgiving Eve
The day is almost upon us.
For a majority of the world, it's just another day.
A day in which they will have no cranberry sauce or stuffed turkey.
One in which they will not gather to share giblet gravy or hot rolls.
We, who have been blessed with the bounty of heaven, have to be thankful. We have to be.
Because to be ignorant consumers of all that is good in our lives is to be most ungrateful indeed.
Those who are poor are not all derelict. Those who suffer don't always bring it upon themselves. And those who hunger are not always fed by the kindness of strangers.
We take much for granted.
Take this forum. I can post virtually anything I want here - it's my space.
From the daily comedy and tragedy that is my life, I get to choose how to share it.
Somewhere, there is someone else with great thoughts, profound insight and no way to share a word about the struggle that makes their own story worth living.
I am richly blessed by being born into a family of faith in Jesus Christ. Not just a token attendance to the words, but a vibrant, living fountain of pure water that flows in and through them and refreshes me when I languish.
Between my parents and siblings, I am surrounded by people who persevere and just keep putting one foot in front of the other despite their personal challenges.
My life is enriched by the amazing gift of my husband of nearly 25 years. Though each of us has changed since we exchanged rings and pledged our hearts, our lives and our love to one another, there is no greater blessing than having an unconditional heart beating in my husband who makes up for my multitudinous shortcomings by his generosity of spirit in my behalf.
Through our union of choice and desire, we have two amazing sons that brighten my life each and every day. They are brilliant and gifted, funny and kind. They brought a tenderness of spirit with them when they entered mortality and the joy that accompanied each arrival has never dimmed with the passing of the years.
Though no longer babies, they will always be our babies and deserving of our care and love just because they are themselves. They are a blessing that goes on into the next generation beyond my own.
I have a roof over my head, a closet and dresser filled with clothes that fit according to my level and diligence at attempting to get more active and in shape, a car to drive me anywhere I want to go in all of the connected parts of North and South America, and the safety and security of living in a land where others volunteer to protect me while I sleep.
We are blessed to have food to eat and an abundance of the good things of life.
And I am personally blessed by the friends I hold in my heart as examples of goodness, generosity and kindness in action. That they tolerate my presence at all is an amazing gift in and of itself.
Today, I have a special blessing to be thankful for - I was able to go to the temple, the very House of the Lord, and just soak in the quiet and peaceful setting. To separate myself from the world's demands and feel the living presence of God. And I am thankful that I could feel the influence of the Holy Spirit washing over me and filling the empty places with a love and joy that defies complete description.
I am richly blessed.
And I am thankful to a loving Heavenly Father who has granted me so much.
My job now is to find a way to use the blessings poured on me to share what I have with those who lack. No judgement about circumstance. Just sharing.
Happy Thanksgiving. I want it to be thanksgiving every day. In my heart I feel it. I want to learn how to act it in everything I do.
For a majority of the world, it's just another day.
A day in which they will have no cranberry sauce or stuffed turkey.
One in which they will not gather to share giblet gravy or hot rolls.
We, who have been blessed with the bounty of heaven, have to be thankful. We have to be.
Because to be ignorant consumers of all that is good in our lives is to be most ungrateful indeed.
Those who are poor are not all derelict. Those who suffer don't always bring it upon themselves. And those who hunger are not always fed by the kindness of strangers.
We take much for granted.
Take this forum. I can post virtually anything I want here - it's my space.
From the daily comedy and tragedy that is my life, I get to choose how to share it.
Somewhere, there is someone else with great thoughts, profound insight and no way to share a word about the struggle that makes their own story worth living.
I am richly blessed by being born into a family of faith in Jesus Christ. Not just a token attendance to the words, but a vibrant, living fountain of pure water that flows in and through them and refreshes me when I languish.
Between my parents and siblings, I am surrounded by people who persevere and just keep putting one foot in front of the other despite their personal challenges.
My life is enriched by the amazing gift of my husband of nearly 25 years. Though each of us has changed since we exchanged rings and pledged our hearts, our lives and our love to one another, there is no greater blessing than having an unconditional heart beating in my husband who makes up for my multitudinous shortcomings by his generosity of spirit in my behalf.
Through our union of choice and desire, we have two amazing sons that brighten my life each and every day. They are brilliant and gifted, funny and kind. They brought a tenderness of spirit with them when they entered mortality and the joy that accompanied each arrival has never dimmed with the passing of the years.
Though no longer babies, they will always be our babies and deserving of our care and love just because they are themselves. They are a blessing that goes on into the next generation beyond my own.
I have a roof over my head, a closet and dresser filled with clothes that fit according to my level and diligence at attempting to get more active and in shape, a car to drive me anywhere I want to go in all of the connected parts of North and South America, and the safety and security of living in a land where others volunteer to protect me while I sleep.
We are blessed to have food to eat and an abundance of the good things of life.
And I am personally blessed by the friends I hold in my heart as examples of goodness, generosity and kindness in action. That they tolerate my presence at all is an amazing gift in and of itself.
Today, I have a special blessing to be thankful for - I was able to go to the temple, the very House of the Lord, and just soak in the quiet and peaceful setting. To separate myself from the world's demands and feel the living presence of God. And I am thankful that I could feel the influence of the Holy Spirit washing over me and filling the empty places with a love and joy that defies complete description.
I am richly blessed.
And I am thankful to a loving Heavenly Father who has granted me so much.
My job now is to find a way to use the blessings poured on me to share what I have with those who lack. No judgement about circumstance. Just sharing.
Happy Thanksgiving. I want it to be thanksgiving every day. In my heart I feel it. I want to learn how to act it in everything I do.
November 18, 2009
We are all beggars... but some abuse the privilege
To some, it seems we have a conundrum on our hands. To others, the passages seem both straightforward and crystal clear.
From the Book of Mormon in Mosiah 4:16 - 27, we read:
16 And also, ye yourselves will succor those that stand in need of your succor; ye will administer of your substance unto him that standeth in need; and ye will not suffer that the beggar putteth up his petition to you in vain, and turn him out to perish.
17 Perhaps thou shalt say: The man has brought upon himself his misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto him of my food, nor impart unto him of my substance that he may not suffer, for his punishments are just—
18 But I say unto you, O man, whosoever doeth this the same hath great cause to repent; and except he repenteth of that which he hath done he perisheth forever, and hath no interest in the kingdom of God.
19 For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind?
20 And behold, even at this time, ye have been calling on his name, and begging for a remission of your sins. And has he suffered that ye have begged in vain? Nay; he has poured out his Spirit upon you, and has caused that your hearts should be filled with joy, and has caused that your mouths should be stopped that ye could not find utterance, so exceedingly great was your joy.
21 And now, if God, who has created you, on whom you are dependent for your lives and for all that ye have and are, doth grant unto you whatsoever ye ask that is right, in faith, believing that ye shall receive, O then, how ye ought to impart of the substance that ye have one to another.
22 And if ye judge the man who putteth up his petition to you for your substance that he perish not, and condemn him, how much more just will be your condemnation for withholding your substance, which doth not belong to you but to God, to whom also your life belongeth; and yet ye put up no petition, nor repent of the thing which thou hast done.
23 I say unto you, wo be unto that man, for his substance shall perish with him; and now, I say these things unto those who are rich as pertaining to the things of this world.
24 And again, I say unto the poor, ye who have not and yet have sufficient, that ye remain from day to day; I mean all you who deny the beggar, because ye have not; I would that ye say in your hearts that: I give not because I have not, but if I had I would give.
25 And now, if ye say this in your hearts ye remain guiltless, otherwise ye are condemned; and your condemnation is just for ye covet that which ye have not received.
26 And now, for the sake of these things which I have spoken unto you—that is, for the sake of retaining a remission of your sins from day to day, that ye may walk guiltless before God—I would that ye should impart of your substance to the poor, every man according to that which he hath, such as feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting the sick and administering to their relief, both spiritually and temporally, according to their wants.
27 And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.
Sounds pretty good, right?
Then there is this verse from the Doctrine and Covenants Section 42:42 -
42 Thou shalt not be idle; for he that is idle shall not eat the bread nor wear the garments of the laborer.
How about this passage from the Old Testament in Proverbs 12:27 - The slothful man roasteth not that which he took in hunting: but the substance of a diligent man is precious.
Or this one from Timothy 5:8 in the New Testament: But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
Then there is the parable of the talents which can be interpreted in a few different ways. In Matthew 25, we read about a steward/Lord who gives a responsibility to three different men. They are given 1, 2, and 5 talents to manage in his absence in the hopes that they would live up to their potential and increase that which had been entrusted to them.
What am I driving at with all of this?
I find myself thankful at the blessings that have been granted to me and my family and friends and most frustrated as well.
Our government, whom we elected and keep the jackasses in office, has institutionally created an entire culture dependent upon others for everything they need to survive mortality. While there are notable circumstances in which our legitimate needs must be met by outside sources, there seems to be a movement to provide the livelihood for those who are simply UNWILLING to do what they COULD do for themselves.
Instead, we should be insisting that they bear SOME responsibility for themselves and for those who depend upon them - if for nothing else than an example of how to live. Laziness and sloth ARE catching...
Wanting to help those who are downtrodden is a laudable thing. In my heart, I hope my attitude is right - I try to do all I can when I am able, and physically, I try to do all I can with supplies and materials when it is mortally possible. But I can't take on their mortal salvation from financial ruin, more especially so when they do nothing to help themselves!!
I can't judge the circumstances that people have in their lives in any adequate measure. The job of the Common Judge in Israel is already spoken for and the job of the Judge of us all is in God's bailiwick. And for that I am sure we are ALL thankful. God alone is able to temper His mercy and His justice.
He sees the circumstances that I do not.
My struggle isn't so much with those on the outside of my skin and with the one within who judges, condemns and offers harsh reality about 'how it should be' without one thought for what might really be going on beneath the surface which I can neither see nor comprehend.
In an attempt to keep my own personal pride out of the equation, I wrestle with the concepts of whom to help and how. And, I admit that I become frustrated with those people, who, when offered a REASONABLE choice to improve their circumstances and lot in life (in my judgement) make NO EFFORT to take on work, responsibility or a budget that just might cut back on their idea of what they are 'entitled' to.
I've been told all of my life that the idler will not eat the bread nor wear the garments of the worker, yet I see efforts within our nation to FORCE just that. Those who work should be somehow compelled to support those who don't, can't and won't.
Let it be said here that I am not discussing the legitimate needs of the disabled, the widow and the fatherless.
But I am concerned about the people who have generationally received some form of government assistance every month for as long as they have drawn a breath and everyone else in their family lives the same way without making a single contribution to the work-force simply because they feel it's beneath them to do so when they can get all these benefits without hitting a lick at a snake.
Where do we draw the line?
Today, an acquaintance stopped by begging. This person basically asked for us, or someone we know, to sign on and be responsible for their bills and payments with the promise that it's only to last "until I get caught up".
HORSEFEATHERS!!
I politely and firmly told this person "no".
I felt guilty about it for a little while. Not because I was in a position to give and refused (I wasn't in any position to help), but rather, the guilty feeling came from wondering if any of my previous help had seemed like I was a "soft touch" who could be played.
Then I felt guilty for feeling guilty!
For Pete's sake, if the party involved felt even one round of the guilt I was feeling, he'd drag his sorry ass out and get a JOB (there are companies hiring ALL OVER TOWN!) - and then, having obtained said job, he would sacrifice his 'personal time' (which has presumably been employed in scratching his indecisive ass), and do what it takes to get up, be on time, be diligent and be responsible!
But now, we come to the crux of the matter - that nasty word which should be a four-letter word: RESPONSIBILITY.
We have an entire microcosm of society that believes fervently that the world owes them a living just because they showed up with their hand out.
How do we convince them that the world was here FIRST, to borrow a thought from Mark Twain?
My highest ambition in life had nothing to do with cleaning up the dive and prep area and flipping Big Macs all day, but I damn well worked at McDonald's to pay my bills when I was in college! And I mopped floors, cleaned toilets, washed windows and painted walls to at least make a contribution to my own upkeep.
I am sick to death of able bodies sitting around as if they are 'too good' for a job! Holy Hannah! Work is ennobling and truly builds a type of character that the lazy and slothful will NEVER comprehend.
We have all, at one time or another, been recipients of the 'kindness of strangers' or the loving bounty of friends. And I hope in my own case, I have showered them with my thanks and gratitude for what has been offered to me.
Needs are one thing. We all have them.
But this constant drip, drip, drip of pity for self is making me a bit crazy.
There isn't enough in the world to help those who do nothing to help themselves because for them, there is never enough to satisfy their eyes of greed.
But for the needs of the world, there is enough and to spare. We have an abundance, if people will exercise some restraint and employ a healthy dose of personal responsibility.
Life doesn't always work out the way we planned. The unforeseen CAN AND DOES HAPPEN. It isn't that it happens that is the issue. It's how we HANDLE it when it does.
We are all beggars in this life. We are dependent in various stages and times in our lives and we are also sometimes those who are depended upon to meet the needs of others.
We vacillate between being the helpful temporal savior of another soul in need and being the capsized sailor tempest tossed just hoping to see a rescue line shoot out of the darkness to save us from our misery. But when do we see the true job description we were sent here to learn?
Our mortal experience isn't meant to be a free ride on the backs of our brothers and sisters who toil in our behalf without a word of thanks escaping our lips. Nor were we meant to sit in opulence and look down upon the workers who make possible our wealth and privilege.
There is a middle ground!
When we forget how to work, we lose an essential part of self that keeps us able to hold up our head and look any man in the eye as an equal in this world. When the only lazy motion we make with our slothful hand is to reach for the next hand-out, we have lost our ability to feel the needs of those who truly have no choices but to sit immovable on the sidelines of life.
We need to work in order to be useful, not only to ourselves, but to our fellowmen.
We need to help those less fortunate, lest by choice and inclination we become as unfortunate and unwelcome as the leper who had to cry out as 'unclean' before the world.
There aren't any clear cut guidelines printed on the foreheads of the fellow travellers who share our world. And while we don't get to judge every motive and intent, I do believe that there are some circumstances in which we have to say "NO" to the people who are holding out for a free lunch.
When pride prevents someone who COULD do from even making an effort to drag themselves out of bed to even make an attempt at doing better for themselves, it's pretty hard to feel comfortable assisting them to do nothing at all.
I think the word for that is ENABLING.
And that's a concept I'm not comfortable with at all.
Bertolt Brecht said it well, "None will improve your lot if you yourself do not."
From the Book of Mormon in Mosiah 4:16 - 27, we read:
16 And also, ye yourselves will succor those that stand in need of your succor; ye will administer of your substance unto him that standeth in need; and ye will not suffer that the beggar putteth up his petition to you in vain, and turn him out to perish.
17 Perhaps thou shalt say: The man has brought upon himself his misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto him of my food, nor impart unto him of my substance that he may not suffer, for his punishments are just—
18 But I say unto you, O man, whosoever doeth this the same hath great cause to repent; and except he repenteth of that which he hath done he perisheth forever, and hath no interest in the kingdom of God.
19 For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind?
20 And behold, even at this time, ye have been calling on his name, and begging for a remission of your sins. And has he suffered that ye have begged in vain? Nay; he has poured out his Spirit upon you, and has caused that your hearts should be filled with joy, and has caused that your mouths should be stopped that ye could not find utterance, so exceedingly great was your joy.
21 And now, if God, who has created you, on whom you are dependent for your lives and for all that ye have and are, doth grant unto you whatsoever ye ask that is right, in faith, believing that ye shall receive, O then, how ye ought to impart of the substance that ye have one to another.
22 And if ye judge the man who putteth up his petition to you for your substance that he perish not, and condemn him, how much more just will be your condemnation for withholding your substance, which doth not belong to you but to God, to whom also your life belongeth; and yet ye put up no petition, nor repent of the thing which thou hast done.
23 I say unto you, wo be unto that man, for his substance shall perish with him; and now, I say these things unto those who are rich as pertaining to the things of this world.
24 And again, I say unto the poor, ye who have not and yet have sufficient, that ye remain from day to day; I mean all you who deny the beggar, because ye have not; I would that ye say in your hearts that: I give not because I have not, but if I had I would give.
25 And now, if ye say this in your hearts ye remain guiltless, otherwise ye are condemned; and your condemnation is just for ye covet that which ye have not received.
26 And now, for the sake of these things which I have spoken unto you—that is, for the sake of retaining a remission of your sins from day to day, that ye may walk guiltless before God—I would that ye should impart of your substance to the poor, every man according to that which he hath, such as feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting the sick and administering to their relief, both spiritually and temporally, according to their wants.
27 And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.
Sounds pretty good, right?
Then there is this verse from the Doctrine and Covenants Section 42:42 -
42 Thou shalt not be idle; for he that is idle shall not eat the bread nor wear the garments of the laborer.
How about this passage from the Old Testament in Proverbs 12:27 - The slothful man roasteth not that which he took in hunting: but the substance of a diligent man is precious.
Or this one from Timothy 5:8 in the New Testament: But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
Then there is the parable of the talents which can be interpreted in a few different ways. In Matthew 25, we read about a steward/Lord who gives a responsibility to three different men. They are given 1, 2, and 5 talents to manage in his absence in the hopes that they would live up to their potential and increase that which had been entrusted to them.
What am I driving at with all of this?
I find myself thankful at the blessings that have been granted to me and my family and friends and most frustrated as well.
Our government, whom we elected and keep the jackasses in office, has institutionally created an entire culture dependent upon others for everything they need to survive mortality. While there are notable circumstances in which our legitimate needs must be met by outside sources, there seems to be a movement to provide the livelihood for those who are simply UNWILLING to do what they COULD do for themselves.
Instead, we should be insisting that they bear SOME responsibility for themselves and for those who depend upon them - if for nothing else than an example of how to live. Laziness and sloth ARE catching...
Wanting to help those who are downtrodden is a laudable thing. In my heart, I hope my attitude is right - I try to do all I can when I am able, and physically, I try to do all I can with supplies and materials when it is mortally possible. But I can't take on their mortal salvation from financial ruin, more especially so when they do nothing to help themselves!!
I can't judge the circumstances that people have in their lives in any adequate measure. The job of the Common Judge in Israel is already spoken for and the job of the Judge of us all is in God's bailiwick. And for that I am sure we are ALL thankful. God alone is able to temper His mercy and His justice.
He sees the circumstances that I do not.
My struggle isn't so much with those on the outside of my skin and with the one within who judges, condemns and offers harsh reality about 'how it should be' without one thought for what might really be going on beneath the surface which I can neither see nor comprehend.
In an attempt to keep my own personal pride out of the equation, I wrestle with the concepts of whom to help and how. And, I admit that I become frustrated with those people, who, when offered a REASONABLE choice to improve their circumstances and lot in life (in my judgement) make NO EFFORT to take on work, responsibility or a budget that just might cut back on their idea of what they are 'entitled' to.
I've been told all of my life that the idler will not eat the bread nor wear the garments of the worker, yet I see efforts within our nation to FORCE just that. Those who work should be somehow compelled to support those who don't, can't and won't.
Let it be said here that I am not discussing the legitimate needs of the disabled, the widow and the fatherless.
But I am concerned about the people who have generationally received some form of government assistance every month for as long as they have drawn a breath and everyone else in their family lives the same way without making a single contribution to the work-force simply because they feel it's beneath them to do so when they can get all these benefits without hitting a lick at a snake.
Where do we draw the line?
Today, an acquaintance stopped by begging. This person basically asked for us, or someone we know, to sign on and be responsible for their bills and payments with the promise that it's only to last "until I get caught up".
HORSEFEATHERS!!
I politely and firmly told this person "no".
I felt guilty about it for a little while. Not because I was in a position to give and refused (I wasn't in any position to help), but rather, the guilty feeling came from wondering if any of my previous help had seemed like I was a "soft touch" who could be played.
Then I felt guilty for feeling guilty!
For Pete's sake, if the party involved felt even one round of the guilt I was feeling, he'd drag his sorry ass out and get a JOB (there are companies hiring ALL OVER TOWN!) - and then, having obtained said job, he would sacrifice his 'personal time' (which has presumably been employed in scratching his indecisive ass), and do what it takes to get up, be on time, be diligent and be responsible!
But now, we come to the crux of the matter - that nasty word which should be a four-letter word: RESPONSIBILITY.
We have an entire microcosm of society that believes fervently that the world owes them a living just because they showed up with their hand out.
How do we convince them that the world was here FIRST, to borrow a thought from Mark Twain?
My highest ambition in life had nothing to do with cleaning up the dive and prep area and flipping Big Macs all day, but I damn well worked at McDonald's to pay my bills when I was in college! And I mopped floors, cleaned toilets, washed windows and painted walls to at least make a contribution to my own upkeep.
I am sick to death of able bodies sitting around as if they are 'too good' for a job! Holy Hannah! Work is ennobling and truly builds a type of character that the lazy and slothful will NEVER comprehend.
We have all, at one time or another, been recipients of the 'kindness of strangers' or the loving bounty of friends. And I hope in my own case, I have showered them with my thanks and gratitude for what has been offered to me.
Needs are one thing. We all have them.
But this constant drip, drip, drip of pity for self is making me a bit crazy.
There isn't enough in the world to help those who do nothing to help themselves because for them, there is never enough to satisfy their eyes of greed.
But for the needs of the world, there is enough and to spare. We have an abundance, if people will exercise some restraint and employ a healthy dose of personal responsibility.
Life doesn't always work out the way we planned. The unforeseen CAN AND DOES HAPPEN. It isn't that it happens that is the issue. It's how we HANDLE it when it does.
We are all beggars in this life. We are dependent in various stages and times in our lives and we are also sometimes those who are depended upon to meet the needs of others.
We vacillate between being the helpful temporal savior of another soul in need and being the capsized sailor tempest tossed just hoping to see a rescue line shoot out of the darkness to save us from our misery. But when do we see the true job description we were sent here to learn?
Our mortal experience isn't meant to be a free ride on the backs of our brothers and sisters who toil in our behalf without a word of thanks escaping our lips. Nor were we meant to sit in opulence and look down upon the workers who make possible our wealth and privilege.
There is a middle ground!
When we forget how to work, we lose an essential part of self that keeps us able to hold up our head and look any man in the eye as an equal in this world. When the only lazy motion we make with our slothful hand is to reach for the next hand-out, we have lost our ability to feel the needs of those who truly have no choices but to sit immovable on the sidelines of life.
We need to work in order to be useful, not only to ourselves, but to our fellowmen.
We need to help those less fortunate, lest by choice and inclination we become as unfortunate and unwelcome as the leper who had to cry out as 'unclean' before the world.
There aren't any clear cut guidelines printed on the foreheads of the fellow travellers who share our world. And while we don't get to judge every motive and intent, I do believe that there are some circumstances in which we have to say "NO" to the people who are holding out for a free lunch.
When pride prevents someone who COULD do from even making an effort to drag themselves out of bed to even make an attempt at doing better for themselves, it's pretty hard to feel comfortable assisting them to do nothing at all.
I think the word for that is ENABLING.
And that's a concept I'm not comfortable with at all.
Bertolt Brecht said it well, "None will improve your lot if you yourself do not."
November 8, 2009
Rejoicing Interrupted
In the Book of Mormon, there is a telling passage that means a great deal to me right now.
Alma 30:22 speaks of an anti-Christ coming among the people of God who are worshipping Jesus Christ and who has begun preaching false doctrine among them 'to interrupt their rejoicings'.
Lately, I have felt several times as if my emotional instability and hypersensitivities have stepped in to 'interrupt' my rejoicing.
I can't lay this at the feet of other people and their actions because regardless of what ANYONE else does, I am the ultimate arbiter of how I choose to take it . . . indeed, I can refuse to take it at all.
But I do.
Then I let my emotions boil and fester and ruin my OWN day.
WHO CARES what someone else says or does?
I do.
And I am frustrated by my own lack of control when it comes to caring what other people think, say or do in my presence.
It shouldn't matter.
I should be more duck-like and let it all roll off of my back like so many drops of water. Except that I haven't learned how yet.
The word "yet" is employed simply because there is a tiny spark of hope that seeks to become the brilliant light of experience that will turn "yet" into understanding and knowledge. So far, that hasn't showed up.
I desperately want to become the kind of person who isn't troubled by life and the people who inhabit this world, but I know that isn't possible.
If any syllogism is true, then it follows that I annoy the hell out of a ton of people because a ton of people annoy the hell out of me.
It's only fair I guess.
But lately, my emotional maturity guage is sorely lacking in actual on the road maturity and instead has been replaced with the petulance and thumbsucking of a toddler who can't understand why "everyone doesn't love me".
Thankfully, I KNOW who loves me and the truth is, I am not only thankful for their love, I am blessed by their very presence in the chaos that passes for my adult life.
Some are related to me and have no choice in that particular matter, but that they choose to love me despite the reality of my imperfections is a blessing that is greater than I can adequately describe.
Then, there are the people who have become family through circumstance and personal choice.
Because you make choices to love someone besides yourself, there is a very real possibility that one day, you will let them down, forget to live up to your God-given potential or in other ways just plain screw up.
But they love me anyway and for that I am deeply humbled.
They could have made the choice to walk away.
Though I wallow in a pleasant pool of marinated pity, I truly know that what I struggle with won't last long unless I allow it.
Some days are just plain harder than others.
And those hard days just suck.
It's like discovering that you forgot to choose happiness and indeed the self-inflicted misery IS your own fault.
Which is sort of how I am feeling right now.
I want to be brave like Martha Washington and declare to the world the understanding that it's disposition and not circumstances that makes the difference in attitude.
But there are days that I have allowed too many dings in my personal armor, whether externally or internally applied, and I am struggling to remember that I can overcome all of this through Christ and come out the victor over self and personal ego.
And isn't that just an UGLY word?
EGO.
Someone once said 'ego means EDGING GOD OUT'.
I believe that. Because when I am having a day like this, it's because the rejoicing in God and His Christ have been interrupted for whatever reason and I just never got back into tune with their frequency again.
I so desperatly want to cry out to the heavens to be saved from this misery! I have done so many times today as part of my emotional baggage and fasting and prayer.
While it is true we can't always choose our particular trials, it is equally true that I can choose how I'd like to deal with the hand I'm dealt.
I can't and won't fold, for to do so would be to lose out on the greater opportunity that comes when new cards and new options are allowed.
But some days I'll admit to wanting a pass.
It's an issue of perspective and the allegedly mature part of me knows that. But the thumbsucking toddler is almighty tired of having my good time squashed by some well-meaning person, whether my adult self or someone outside my skin.
Is there hope for me?
Christ said there is. And right now, I am hanging on to that hope with all I have.
I only hope the music that will surround me soon will bring back that feeling of rejoicing.
Because right now I'm running on spiritual fumes that are fading fast.
Alma 30:22 speaks of an anti-Christ coming among the people of God who are worshipping Jesus Christ and who has begun preaching false doctrine among them 'to interrupt their rejoicings'.
Lately, I have felt several times as if my emotional instability and hypersensitivities have stepped in to 'interrupt' my rejoicing.
I can't lay this at the feet of other people and their actions because regardless of what ANYONE else does, I am the ultimate arbiter of how I choose to take it . . . indeed, I can refuse to take it at all.
But I do.
Then I let my emotions boil and fester and ruin my OWN day.
WHO CARES what someone else says or does?
I do.
And I am frustrated by my own lack of control when it comes to caring what other people think, say or do in my presence.
It shouldn't matter.
I should be more duck-like and let it all roll off of my back like so many drops of water. Except that I haven't learned how yet.
The word "yet" is employed simply because there is a tiny spark of hope that seeks to become the brilliant light of experience that will turn "yet" into understanding and knowledge. So far, that hasn't showed up.
I desperately want to become the kind of person who isn't troubled by life and the people who inhabit this world, but I know that isn't possible.
If any syllogism is true, then it follows that I annoy the hell out of a ton of people because a ton of people annoy the hell out of me.
It's only fair I guess.
But lately, my emotional maturity guage is sorely lacking in actual on the road maturity and instead has been replaced with the petulance and thumbsucking of a toddler who can't understand why "everyone doesn't love me".
Thankfully, I KNOW who loves me and the truth is, I am not only thankful for their love, I am blessed by their very presence in the chaos that passes for my adult life.
Some are related to me and have no choice in that particular matter, but that they choose to love me despite the reality of my imperfections is a blessing that is greater than I can adequately describe.
Then, there are the people who have become family through circumstance and personal choice.
Because you make choices to love someone besides yourself, there is a very real possibility that one day, you will let them down, forget to live up to your God-given potential or in other ways just plain screw up.
But they love me anyway and for that I am deeply humbled.
They could have made the choice to walk away.
Though I wallow in a pleasant pool of marinated pity, I truly know that what I struggle with won't last long unless I allow it.
Some days are just plain harder than others.
And those hard days just suck.
It's like discovering that you forgot to choose happiness and indeed the self-inflicted misery IS your own fault.
Which is sort of how I am feeling right now.
I want to be brave like Martha Washington and declare to the world the understanding that it's disposition and not circumstances that makes the difference in attitude.
But there are days that I have allowed too many dings in my personal armor, whether externally or internally applied, and I am struggling to remember that I can overcome all of this through Christ and come out the victor over self and personal ego.
And isn't that just an UGLY word?
EGO.
Someone once said 'ego means EDGING GOD OUT'.
I believe that. Because when I am having a day like this, it's because the rejoicing in God and His Christ have been interrupted for whatever reason and I just never got back into tune with their frequency again.
I so desperatly want to cry out to the heavens to be saved from this misery! I have done so many times today as part of my emotional baggage and fasting and prayer.
While it is true we can't always choose our particular trials, it is equally true that I can choose how I'd like to deal with the hand I'm dealt.
I can't and won't fold, for to do so would be to lose out on the greater opportunity that comes when new cards and new options are allowed.
But some days I'll admit to wanting a pass.
It's an issue of perspective and the allegedly mature part of me knows that. But the thumbsucking toddler is almighty tired of having my good time squashed by some well-meaning person, whether my adult self or someone outside my skin.
Is there hope for me?
Christ said there is. And right now, I am hanging on to that hope with all I have.
I only hope the music that will surround me soon will bring back that feeling of rejoicing.
Because right now I'm running on spiritual fumes that are fading fast.
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