Come On Down!

Well, my dream has come to an end.

With the heralded retirement of television icon Bob Barker, no longer will I have the opportunity to race forward to one of the four golden spots to bid my way towards either televised immortality and fame or total and abject public humiliation.

Sure, they have hired the very funny Drew Carey to be the host (notice I did not say 'take the place of Bob') for The Price Is Right, but the show will never be the same. The meter and flow of Bob's delivery and his signature signoff about controlling the pet population will fade into the collective memory of our television past.

While I honestly believe that Mr. Carey will do a fine job of bringing humor and fun to the program, I also believe that the tener and tone of the program will, by force of natural law, be altered to fit the circumstances and personality of it's new host. I wish them nothing but the best since I would love to have the chance to come home the big winner.

One thing though has always bothered me about the program. The prices they indicate are certainly not the prices that are paid by the 'great unwashed' when we go to the store or the automotive dealership.

I can virtually guarantee if the auto dealerships spent a bit of money on some 'eye candy' for the buyers that they would sell more cars to love struck, deer in the headlights consumers who didn't know what hit them until the deal was done and they were on their way home with a care that cost more than their first house. Every man wants to think that Barker's Beauties are smiling some 'special' smile at them alone and that they are somehow rooting for them personally.

What the show failed to provide was some hunky men, all toned and buffed, who could trot out the Kitchenaid mixer set or drive out the sex mobile for the bid winners to try and make their own. Women are interested in thinking about their personal appeal just as much as men do. And some stone cold hunk would certainly make me more willing to scream out my bid as he smiled his come hither smile at my wrinkled, lined and flabby self.

Maybe Mr. Carey will be more receptive to the idea of introducing a more diverse group of models to stand there and show off their assets along with the items for our bids. Certainly since he, himself, belongs to the wrinkled, lined and flabby crowd will understand the manic zeal in our eyes as we truly want to believe that not only are we being called to 'come on down' but that somehow we can become the 'anointed one' who will win not only their own showcase, but BOTH showcases and be within the 100 dollar limit that will grant the winner all of the prizes plus the cash bonus.

Can't you just hear the announcer now?

"Old, tired, saggy, wrinkly mother with bags under her eyes, COME ON DOWN!"