Resolutions.

The word sounds large and somewhat ominous.

Bulky and deep.

Sometimes, hard to swallow.

But here we are at the time of the year when resolutions and goals are supposed to be set and the upcoming year of better behavior and more responsible choices are charted.

I am afraid.

Knowing my imperfections and weaknesses, I hate looking in the mirror most days.

Especially the days where I know I have not truly made a decent effort to be a better person on any level. And rationalized my choice to waste the opportunity.

Deeply painful are the days that pass where absolutely nothing useful to another person has occured and my level of comfort is too comfortable indeed.

Knowing that unwise and slothful servants are those who must be commanded in all things, my weakness and lack of attention to detail is most condemning.

The clock denies the opportunity to 'go back and fix' whatever is today's latest regret. Perhaps that is for the best. Meddlesome guilt is never a substitute for prayerful action.

I was taught a tender principle today. Though the decisions made in something I considered a really big deal were not the decisions I had hoped or worked toward in my actions, people of a greater grace and understanding are showing forth the kind of support for that which has come to pass that I would have ever even considered.

That kind of grace in action is lacking in my life.

I can't boycott and hide from circumstances that are not always pleasant. But I can choose to follow the example of those of a geater grace and pray that though my will wasn't done in whatever the circumstances, that this particular child of God can open her eyes to see the hand of God moving in the world around me.

And above all, that I can learn to appreciate that it isn't all about me anyway.