Starter Marriages

For the life of me, I cannot understand the concept of a 'starter marriage'.

Marriage is about making vows, committments and covenants with each other in a love that can last forever based upon our choices.

It isn't about a trial run until things get hard.

News flash to all the newly minted married couples in the world - LIFE GETS HARD.

Now that we have cleared up your misconceptions about what to expect, let's attack some marriage myths.

"I'll always feel the same way about you."

Let's hope not! If the budding feelings of love and desire never get beyond a bud, they are unlikely to weather the chilling frost that happens when you discover that life isn't magazine perfect and that sometimes your love isn't all that was advertised.

"This is all I've ever wanted."

That's right - aim low. If your aspirations as a couple and potential family never get beyond this moment, selfishness and petty behavior sets in. Be willing to want MORE - for yourself: want to be more than the person you are today. LEARN! Expand your mind and heart to open up to the opportunities you have that can bless the lives of your spouse and everyone whom you can shower some care upon.

"Nothing could be better than this."

Welcome to the world of vanilla. If 31 flavors was a starting point for Baskin Robbins, what makes you think your marriage can't have it's own flavors over time? As you grow and your love for each other deepens, the vanilla can be changed into a rainbow of colors, flavors and delight in a growing and changing relationship that can be endless - if you are willing to CHOOSE for it to become so.

I am quite sure there are thousands of marriage myths out there. But I am equally sure there are thousands of marriages that work because the spouses choose to work at it and fine tune it in order to keep the love, the relationship and the feelings alive.

Enough babbling for today... but remember this - if all you ever do is approach life like you are creating a "starter" for your loaf of life's bread - there will never be a loaf - all you will have done is just started to work - real bread and real marriage both take time, effort and a willingess to let the growth occur for the finished product.