Milk of Amnesia

Have you ever wondered about amnesia?

There is such a thing a selective amnesia where you remember things like how to breathe and how to eat and how to talk, etc., but you don't remember some people, places or situations.

I have often wondered how we might all fare in life if we had a dose of "milk of amnesia" and had select things removed from our memories.

There is a scripture that indicates rather plainly that when we confess, forsake and repent of our sins that God has the capacity to "remember them no more".

That's pretty cool, since I still remember the stupid things I have done, the hurtful acts I have committed and the willful disobedience that dogs my daily life.

How would I change if I didn't know who I had been and started with a fresh slate?

I saw a TV show one time where one of the main characters had an accident of some sort and her memory was completely wiped. Her mother-in-law, with whom she had previously enjoyed a rather frosty relationship, took the opportunity to reshape the gal's character into a version of a woman she would rather spend her time with instead of coming to know the daughter-in-law she already had.

It was actually pretty funny since the daughter-in-law had these 'twinges' that what she was being told wasn't accurate, but she plodded along anyway until her memory miraculously came back in an instant when she ran into an opening door.

Naturally, all of that "amnesia training" her mother-in-law had given her wasn't retained since it wasn't in the nature or character of the gal to act the way she had been told.

So, if it didn't work then, how could it work for people now?

I don't know about the rest of the population on the planet, but as self-willed as I am, I don't think that 'milk of amnesia' would totally change me.

I have been informed from reliable sources that I am somewhat different since experiencing a serious head injury. But I have also been told some elements of my personal character haven't changed. When asked to elaborate, the sources say I'm not THAT different and not to worry about it.

Hmm.

Kind of reminds me of another program I saw which literally haunted me for a few nights as the plot line crawled into bed with me and inflicted my dreams with thoughts of mind games and control.

The woman was kidnapped and 'reprogrammed' by these evil scientist dudes who only wanted to use her special gifts and talents for nefarious purposes.

I seriously doubt that would happen to me as I lack that kind of special skill and I talk in my sleep already, so any secret government information would not be safe in my hands anyway.

But the thought that someone could wipe away your memories and replace them with something else was still a powerfully scary thought.

Can you chose to forget something? Truly?

I have heard that people who experience traumatic events relive them in their thoughts. Surely they would benefit from a sip or two of "milk of amnesia"? Or would having that sip of the remedy to life's ills simply keep them from dealing with problems that would readily find a way to the surface through other channels?

What becomes of lessons learned if the slate of the mind is washed clean of any vestige of thought, feeling and emotion attached to actions and circumstances?

Are we a product of our life experiences for good or ill, or are we a constantly blank paper waiting to be written upon until the Master Writer of them all calls us to the desk for a final grade based upon the contents of our life's binder of work?

I know I have torn out sheets of my life's paper that contain things that aren't pleasant, but the imprint of those things I wrote are still impressed on the paper beneath and a skilled hand can draw the letters out and read the truth of my life - with or without my help.

Maybe the sum of who we are and whom we are on the way to becoming shouldn't be drunk away at some Pyrian Spring's draught of altering substance. After all, our life surroundings are overfull of people who are trying to forget by drinking, drugging. overeating and running in so many ways from everything that hurts - and sometimes those choices hurt other people through collateral damage.

Just how DOES God forget the unpleasant things we do? And why don't we forget them?

A wise Bishop once told me that WE keep the memory of things gone wrong as a reminder of how to stop them before they get so far gone again. Sometimes we keep the memories to be of help to some other struggling soul who so suffers as we have. And sometimes, we keep the memories because WE refuse to let them go in an endless cycle of self-punishment and mental flagellation over past wrongs that should have been forgiven of and to ourselves long ago.

It's tempting, I admit, to think of taking a big swig of 'milk of amnesia' when life is hurting me.

But I am quite sure that to do so would be more painful in the long run if it removed what few good qualities I possess along with the bad I wanted to forget. Lessons learned aren't always exciting, but they can always be useful - if I let them be.

Amnesia in real life scares me. The idea of looking into a mirror and not knowing who is there looking back at me is horrifying at best and devastating emotionally at worst.

How can people go forward who don't know much or anything about where they have been?

We are the sum of our parts and they are, good and bad, ugly and beautiful, all pieces of the whole. Cherry-picking through until we keep only the things we think of as being good removes the color commentary that makes us interesting and worth knowing.

One dimensional people are useless.

Personally, I wouldn't give a nickle for someone who was perfect only because they had never lived any. Scars, skinned knees and hearts that have been broken accidentally and on purpose are the things that make people both strong and vulnerable to and for each other.

I want to become perfected over time, but I don't want to get there suddenly because someone wiped the slate of my life clean of experience and heartache and moved me artificially to the head of the line...

Maybe that is the secret of it all. Learning the balance between the things that we learn from and the things we let go all on our own. We chose how to apply a balm of forgetfulness to those things that we just no longer need at all.

It's not that they didn't happen. It's just that they aren't relevant to whom we have so painstakingly become.

And maybe that is the real lesson after all. We learn and progress one line at a time.

Skipping ahead is no advantage if you haven't been prepared in some fashion for the jump.