Graduation 2011

Jared waits for his Graduation Cermonies to begin



Milestones are interesting things.

Often, we take for granted those little moments that just flow through our days as regular as sunrise and clockwork. It's as if the expected always happens.

But the understanding that God has often got other plans for us and those we love brings a jarring sense of reality to our milestone moments. We don't always get what we want when we wanted it or even how we expected it to occur. Detours and derailments can make or break us and in that process we are learning... not so much about circumstance as self.

Jared Shane Merrill is an unfailingly cheerful soul who takes whatever comes to him in a grace and dignity that most of us will never be able to muster under even the best of circumstances.

He has endured so many painful things in his life, it would be completely understandable if he were to be a whiner. But Jared doesn't whine. It simply isn't in his nature.

We had the blessing and honor of seeing Jared grow to be a man and to receive the rewards of the work that he has achieved in his academic career. That his path was different than what we expected 18+ years ago as we held a tiny infant in our arms doesn't seem to matter now.

He has done something that prayerful nights, tearful days and pacing the floor waiting for news of his progress has brought us all to - Jared has graduated.

All to frequently, the focus seems to be on what DIDN'T happen instead of a sharpened gaze directed upon what DID. Jared has been blessed by God to be an actor in a great refining moment, he has taught us to slow down and be thankful for the ride instead of viewing our life as merely the vehicle to get to "what's next".

I cannot be unthankful to have the brakes applied to my own life by the entrance of Jared into my chaos. Though he doesn't travel at the speed I'd like to go, the very fact that he cheerfully reminds me that what I thought was important to do really isn't has been a blessing beyond comprehension.

Jared smiles through life at things that would make "normal people" wither.

I put 'normal' in the quotes because Jared has taught me that normal isn't a real construct. To group people into that kind of iconic mode is not fair. It also isn't true.

We aren't 'normal', not one of us.

To say that is to deny the varying speeds of our individual progress and hamper our God-given glory by making us all the same. And we are NOT the same and were never intended to be the same.

I truly believe that God spoke with each and every one of us as we discussed our journey through life. He tenderly explained the confidences He has in us and then unfolded a plan as individual as He hoped we would be willing to become. Everyone received a journey and a plan that was different. Everyone also received a map of intersections that we would come to where our lives and the lives of those who would become our family of blood and family of the heart would join our journey together for a period of time.

God loves us enough that He wanted us to know that we are not just a 'group' seeking to be admitted back into his presence like a general admission cattle call to a carnival. He wants us to do like Jared is doing. Taking each day as it comes, willing to be somewhat like Job in an unwavering acceptance of all that he receives, both pleasant and unpleasant, with a steady trust that God truly knows the best for each of us in our individual circumstances.

My son has graduated.

God's son has graduated.

Next year, Jared begins a new phase of learning and we will be learning right along with him.

Maybe one day, I can graduate, too. Only I hope my 'diploma' will say that I have learned to roll with the punches and play the cards that life has dealt with the same level of uncomplaining grace as my son.

Who says parents know everything?

Sometimes, it is the lessons we receive at the hands of our children that are the most far reaching after all.