When you leave the PT pool and the kindly sister of Satan says "You are gonna hurt after this session" and she is smiling... take her at her flame throwing word.
Today was the Dante's Inferno Poolside.
Doing water therapy is healing and restorative. In that way that I mean "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"
We started with the exercises that I learned in the last pool session. I was proud that my diligence in home exercising was paying off. So far, so fairly painless.
THAT was about to change.
What strikes fear into the hearts of PT patients everywhere is the cute little phrase, "Today, we're gonna try a couple of NEW things!" They smile when they say it. Almost being friendly. Lulling you into a false sense of security. Making it seem like we are all chums, pals, buddies... but soft, what is that evil laughter I keep hearing?
"Come over here to the drop off."
The DROP OFF!!!???
Then the real fun begins... with an angelic smile on her face (and by that I mean Hell's Angels), she demonstrates that I will be placing the surgical leg on the edge of the cliff. Then, with the alleged good leg, I will be performing a series of leg lifts in all directions while allowing full weight bearing to take place. Yippee!
The thrashing around convinced Satana that I needed a little help. So I was given a pair of pool floats that looked a lot like foam barbells with 6 weights on each one. Positioning them under my arms and using my hands to move the upper three 'weights' per side up and down to alter my relative vertical position in the water, I began to perform all kinds of leg lifts.
Just when I thought the paramedics would have to drag me from the pool, it was time to ride the bicycle in the water. That isn't all that easy...
I had worked my way up to 6 minutes on the stationary bike in the gym yesterday. Today, I got to "ride the water bike" for about 20 minutes.
Solemnly, I testify to you that yes, indeedy, it is possible to watch your legs turn into spaghetti. Don't be jealous. I'm going to crush up a bunch of Percocet and rub it directly onto my ankle. I plan to add some marinara sauce later on.
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