Holy Moses and all the Twelve Apostles!

Has something ever happened that just turned you into a complete paranoid within seconds?

I find myself in that position right now.

While I have a daily supply of paranoia that I save for spiders attacking me, snakes randomly appearing on television programs I had previously enjoyed and the occasional, random late night car in the driveway when no one is home but me.

But sometimes, someone says something that just gives you the heebie jeebies and makes you question yourself with extreme prejudice.

Today, that has occurred.

Most of the time, I don't give a single thought to what people do when I'm not around. I don't suffer any delusions that animation happens only when I show up. Frankly, people are more than likely more animated OUT of my presence. It's that 'wet blanket' effect that I sometimes exude.

I also am well aware that people I know actually HAVE a life that doesn't involve me and doesn't require worshipful thoughts of me when I'm nowhere around.

Frankly, that would be a little creepy anyway to think that someone is all gooey and weepy-eyed when I'm not around. That's just gross.

But now, I have been warped. As if my mind wasn't already bent enough!!

I don't care what other people do when I'm not around. At least I used to not care... now I'm not so sure.

Maybe I DO care!

Maybe I DO WORRY!

No, wait, maybe I don't.

Maybe I'm happier not giving a molecule of thought towards what other people do when I'm not around. It's more than likely a break for the other people I know for me to NOT be in their presence anyway.

And maybe I'm just fine with the idea that other people can fully enjoy the company of one another without my permission or gaze to detract them from their fun.

I think I'm fine and happy.

I was earlier...

Am I now?

See, that's the real crummy part of being paranoid. Now everything is suspect.

DANG IT!!! I wasn't this screwed up this morning during breakfast!!! WHAT HAPPENED!!

Holy Moses and all the Twelve Apostles, this is just not right!!

Why did all of this pseudo controversy have to erupt?? I think I need to lie down.

Will people speak ill of me if I do?

Do I care what whisperings might circulate if I nap?

Funny, I didn't care about that yesterday. Of course, I didn't take a nap yesterday either.

Is it possible to be paranoid of YOURSELF?