Joints in the body should not make this kind of noise. Ever.
Who decided it was a good idea to have your joints announce your arrival before you step into the room? Whomever it is deserves a good, swift kick. . . if only I could lift my leg that high.
Sleep has become somewhat of a memory. Even if I appear to BE sleeping, it isn't the restful sleep of youth, but rather the fitful exhaustion of someone who hasn't had a good night's sleep in a while. Pain medication that is OTC can only do so much. The stuff that really helps kick the pain is too habit forming to take for any length of time and I don't want to be a junkie hooked on it just to get a nap.
I remember back in the days of running without pain and walking all over the place without worrying when I might need to stop for a long winter's nap even in the midst of summer. The memories of going to bed at night and not having my sleep interrupted by pain in my shoulder, back, legs and ankles... ah, the halcyon days of youth.
I am not old by any fair measure... birthday candles, attitude, personal belief... but according to my joints, I am ancient and decrepit.
When did it become fashionable to be old before one' time?
During the night, I arose to heed the call of Mother Nature. This isn't an unusual proceeding. Drinking lots of water does that to you. That isn't any big deal and it certainly prevents changing sheets in the middle of the night. What I am not a fan of is the joint protest that occurs as a bonus to trying to stagger around the dog in the dark to get to the bathroom without falling into the hamper.
Last night, it was as if there was simply no position available in which I could sleep both restfully and without pain.
No side was an option. Sadness.
I know I need to see a specialist and I'm getting that appointment made this week. Hopefully, they can shed some light on why I am hurting 24-7 without much relief. I don't know of anyone I hate enough to wish this kind of pain on them.
*SIGH*
But regardless of how I may be feeling, I am making a conscious choice to keep my attitude above the fray. No one wants to truly know how someone is feeling when they say "How are you?". They are simply making polite conversation, not asking for a rundown of your medical chart.
There are few people to whom I truly share how I feel. It's not about being a martyr, but rather about understanding that EVERYONE deals with something that is a relentless part of their life that hounds them morning, noon and night. That is part of life. No one gets a free pass.
The occasional evening of restful sleep is a pretty good reward. It doesn't come often, but when it does... I immerse myself in the memory of its silken goodness for days to come. It's like bathing the frayed nerves in the blissfully cool and healing waters of Eden. All is made new for a time and season.
I'm not a big fan of dying, but I know when that time comes, it will usher in the blessing of healing for my aching body. That will be a relief.
Time to finish getting ready for church. It is such a blessing to enjoy the Spirit of the Lord and be renewed to face the challenges of the coming week.
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