Free Stuff

I am a big fan of free stuff.

Free event tickets, free t-shirts, free toothpaste, free deodorant, free free free.

I live under the premise that something you have received in the mail for free is a good thing. If you don't like whatever it is, the size is SO small  you don't feel all that bad about tossing it. And if you discover something that came for free was actually worth buying, you haven't spent money to make that happy discovery.

There are some free things that I am not a fan of.

Free advice from people who are completely clueless. These are the benevolent souls who, for instance, have no disabled children, but who feel completely free to give advice on  how to care for our disabled son's needs. Yeah, y'all feel free to show up at 5:15 a.m. and we will feel free to give you a day in the life... or twelve.

I am not a big fan of free attitude. You know the people. Everyone has encountered them, the people who exude waves of disapproval over your choices. It's like you suddenly became a permanent resident of "The People of Wal-mart" website and they are here to critique what got you listed as such. They are free to go butt a stump. (Momma used to say that - I suspect she would have liked to have been free to say something more harsh, but Momma was always a lady in all circumstances)

I am not a fan of free poop on my windshield from birds who obviously are laughing at my predicament when my temperamental van's wipers work whenever and however THEY choose. Well played, evil birds, well played.

Other free stuff would be great. Being declared the winner of the Reader's Digest sweepstakes and their free money would be exciting. I'm not holding my breath.

Have a free day. You  have my permission.