Focus. What is important?
I've been getting it wrong.
The picture has been focused on entirely the wrong things and now I'm out of touch with what really matters.
Brains don't always make the right decision.
Now I am struggling mightily with the reality that I have listened to the brains and been ignoring the heart which should have taken precedence.
Now, I am truly heartbroken.
I have not applied mercy, love, tenderness or compassion.
And my Daddy has taken all the suffering because I couldn't see what was best FOR HIM.
Oh God, will I ever learn to be what Thou would have me to be?
My tears feel like they are an unending internal flow with times of complete external breakout. I am NOT strong enough for this!
My pitiful prayer is that God in His mercy will do for Daddy what I am simply not able to do - be merciful and tender.
The blessing I seek is not for me for I am most undeserving, rather it is for my kind Daddy who has stood between me and disaster all of my life. Now, he needs God to be there FOR HIM.
My alleged intellect has failed me. I let it overtake my heart and now everyone has lost.
Right now, I truly wish I was more like Kari. She is tender of heart and compassionate in every thought.
I really hate being a grown up sometimes. It isn't all that it's advertised to be.
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