While I am familiar with the suffering of the world at large and the agony of the people who have real problems, I have to say there is one issue that remains sadly neglected in the world today.
The problem here is summed up in one word.
Pantyhose.
I realize that for about half of our population, this is a stupid concern.
But for the other half, plus the assorted cross-dressing men of the world, wearing pantyhose is an issue of great concern.
I have yet to find a brand of pantyhose that can outlive the 48 hour window of opportunity. This even includes the laundry phase of pantyhose ownership. I have had a pair of pantyhose get a run in them while I was soaking them in the sink!
Now, lest you think I am alone in this malady, let me remind you that this is a multi-billion dollar a year business. There is no such thing as non-running, non-sagging and wear-ever hosiery. They can't make money if they don't create a need.
It's bad enough to get one area strained and running, but to sit down and have the pantyhose virtually disintegrate while you wear them strains the bonds of credulity beyond the breaking point. Then the average women is left with a horrible choice.
Do I slip them off and toss them in the trash and hope that no one notices my ashen skin tones that were formerly hidden beneath the rich chocolate color of the hosiery. Do I risk revealing the nicks in my shins from where my razor became a thing possessed and attacked leaving red streaks in the menthol foam coating my legs?
Worse yet, if you have put on a really dark color and managed to get a run in the hose, can you remove them and hope that no one will really notice that you made no effort to shave your legs in the first place?
I think not.
More than likely, it turns out to be an exercise in futility. Two or maybe, if the winds are favorable, three weeks of pantyhose for church and the hose are dying on the vine like late season tomatos which are shriveled and shapeless.
If only someone would invent some kind of material that would take the abuse and stand up to it without a rip, tear or worn out spot. I think I'll lie down and see if I can dream up just how to do this. I'd like to be independently wealthy and this sounds as reasonable an option as any other.
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Did you know there is a whole part of the world that seems to have solved this conundrum? Rather inefficiently, if I may be so bold as to editorialize, but nevertheless they claim it works! And they advertise they are more than willing to share their success at fighting the shoddy workmanship of pantyhose with the rest of the world.
Just as the problem is summed up in one word, their solution and success can also be summed up in one word... Burkha...
(though I understand this campaign still doesn't do a thing for the need to shave... doh!)
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