FREE!

Okay. I'll admit to a certain amount of medicine induced stupor.

After all, cold and flu liquid medicine does have an alcohol content in it.

But I am fascinated by the junk mail and emails that promise everything for free. How can you run a business if everything is free? Is the idea behind the free pitch to run your company into the ground and then declare bankruptcy?

Has Chapter 11 become that appealing?

Then there are the offers that promise vacations and travel to exotic places (look, my definition of exotic means anyplace outside of the state) and a generous daily spending limit for your meals.

I have always been told that 'somebody wins' these free things.

I can't understand though, why if 'somebody' wins, why can't I be that 'somebody'? I have filled in enough prize claim forms to have gutted a significant amount of digital space with my pertinent information. More than likely, that is the reason I keep getting these offers for 'free' stuff that never comes my way.

I'd love to win the Wal-mart shopping card that is currently being bandied about. Stocking my pantry and the cleaning cabinet on their dime would be great news to our strapped budget. I have the feeling that whomever does win it will be someone who only stopped at Wal-mart and filled in the survey because they were bored.

Oh well.

I can guarantee one free trip for the day. Since I have been ill with the flu, I can virtually guarantee a free trip to the outside garbage can to empty the little wastebasket that has served me so admirably today for the million or so tissues that have gone to work keeping my sore and pitifully red nose from dribbling like a leaky faucet on the Titanic.

By the way, good luck on your next "FREE" opportunity. You just might win.