Taken for Granted

Okay. It's just a random series of thoughts but lets see how this plays out.

When was the last time you were totally dependent upon another person to fulfill your needs? Not just getting you a glass of water or a snack, but completely in the grasp of another's compassion, or lack thereof, in your behalf?

Now, imagine that in addition to being totally dependent for your meals and your basic daily needs of toileting, bathing and dressing having to be completed for you by another person.

For most of us, that ended about the time we became older toddlers. Exerting our independence became a rite of passage that continued to evolve until we mustered up the strength, the fortitude and the cash to move out on our own.

But how about for the perpetual children of the world who cannot simply bide their time until they move out? Where is their defining moment and rite of passage?

My son Jared is such an individual.

He cannot speak beyond a couple of baby words. He cannot move himself about in any regular or predictable pattern beyond those things that he has come to grasp over a decade of practice in his special school.

Jared can't take himself to the bathroom or let us know his diapers require changing in any way besides crying. He can't tell us he is hungry or tired or that he'd like to see something else on t.v.

Jared can't join in on the games he sees other boys his age playing in driveways and yards all over the neighborhood. He does get frustrated. I can see it and he is most vocal when things irk him. . . just like the rest of us.

Going on outings requires some serious logistics since he is no longer an infant. Changing him in a public restroom is a joke. They do not have a table to place him on and he can't use a toilet. I guess the assumption is that when you are that seriously disabled you don't go anywhere.

Being my son, that would be an impossibility in his life. I love to travel. In fact, my fantasy is that I would be able to see the world someday. I'd like to go to those places that have graced the pages of the National Geographic over the years.

At this time, the reality is that Jared's wanderlust is my fault, but the world doesn't believe that those who are that severely involved should share the world in the same way as the able bodied.

So the next time you complain about about the MINOR inconveniences of your day, think about Jared and all that he doesn't even get to try.