Holy Moses!
Not even alert and moving well (despite the fact that the alarm rings at 5:30 a.m.), and some yo-yo from a collections agency calls claiming that JARED, has run up a bill over $400 dollars for medical supplies and equipment.
Dang it! I can't leave that boy alone with the computer at night anymore!! No surfing for scantily clad women for him, no siree! That kid is HOARDING medical supplies!
If I had only known he was so adept . . .
The delightful Bangladeshi woman from collections, whom I couldn't understand, transferred me to an attitudinal woman in Atlanta who asked to speak to my son.
My handicapped son.
I told her that I would be happy to talk to her since I am his mother.
The diva with a 'tude indicated that she was only authorized to talk to Jared. She then DEMANDED that Jared come to the phone.
By this time, I was on high boil and overflowing onto the stovetop and told her 'Jared CANNOT come to the phone . . ." whereupon I was rudely INTERRUPTED by Miss 'Tude, who demanded to know why he couldn't.
When I continued by saying 'Jared is a 15 year old, totally disabled, wheelchair-bound aphasic CHILD' . . . She said, 'I am just trying to do my job, so don't cop an attitude with me, lady.'{uh, who copped what first?}
I was then abruptly transferred to the 'MANAGER' (cue fear and trembling - NOT!).
The Manager came on saying that we were in collections for this debt and that if we didn't pay the consequences would be 'dire'.
Bring it on.
What part of my LAVISH lifestyle would you like to have. . . The television which has no working buttons on the front anymore? Unless you have a universal remote you are sorry out of luck on operating it. Or the temperamental VCR that DELETES its programming when it gets too hot or tired? How about one or the other of the DVD players? We were recently given the 2nd one and it's remote control, because frankly, the woman took pity on the one I was literally PRYING the disc from and brought this newer one from her sister's yard sale. Why do we have the other one still. BECAUSE IT'S HOLDING UP THE NEW ONE!
Now, don't you feel silly for asking?
Then again, we do have some luxuries. The matching chair and ottoman I got from the local thrift store for $40. Or the nice blue chair from the other thrift store I got for $35? Maybe hospital beds are your thing. Jared can do without his, right?
I did get a treadmill for Christmas, so maybe that would do for your collections? NO? You only take cash, checks, money orders and credit cards? Ooooh, my bad.
Since I currently have about 8 bucks in checking, and I can't use the credit card we are trying to pay off right now, that leaves use in a bit of a pickle.
Medicaid being what it is, I am QUITE sure that they DID receive payment for his medical supplies. Especially since they are BY PRESCRIPTION.
As of this writing, I am still awaiting the 'imminent phone call of doom'. I think I'll just finish my Captain Crunch and hit the abs exerciser for a bit while I prepare to be annihilated by the collections agency.
Odd thing about this all is that if I had actually spent 400 bucks on something frivolous, my credit card company wouldn't do anything but jack up the interest on our payments. But let the medical feeding frenzy begin . . . well, it's like that bar on the TV show 'Cheers', suddenly EVERYBODY knows your name.
No comments:
Post a Comment