Don't Forget The Lyrics!

As the victim of more than one roadtrip on a bus, I can qualify for some sort of award as a survivor of forgotten and bruised lyrics sung by the well-meaning but unknowing. Sometimes the words that someone sings to a given song leave you wondering "what in the world are you singing???" Other times, the words that come out of someone's mouth are spot on but totally shocking nonetheless.

While on the way to our nation's capitol one summer, I was sitting in the back of the bus listening to one of the other girls take her turn at 'pre-karaoke' (we were ahead of our time!) and listening her murder the lyrics to a teen favorite Hall & Oates song. It wasn't one we normally played in front of adults. Ever.

Breathlessly, we waited for the chorus of the song, which actually contained the aforementioned naughty word, and watched her mouth to see if she would brazenly sing 'THE WORD' that was certain to get her tossed unceremoniously off the bus into the byways of Virginia. After all, we were a church youth group on this bus and even teenagers on a bus for 16 hours have SOME standards - not many, but some.

Not only did she sing it loud and proud, but the guy who was 'in charge' of the tape deck actually turned down the music's volume so it made her obscenity even more obvious as it was no longer thinly veiled by the raucus screaming guitars and heavy pounding drumbeat. For a moment it was almost funny - until . . .

The bus almost veered off the road.

Angry adults stopped the concert mid-song. Severely chastened by the adult leadership who were all riding the bus with us to not only to ensure that we all came home at the end of the week but that we stayed morally clean, the music was silenced and everyone threw angry glares at the brazen one who didn't have enough class to just go blank over the offending word. Threats of taking 'that devil music' away from us were issued and quiet apologies were offered after an unreasonably long time of dead silence.

After the appropriate amount of music free quiet had passed, a new tape was gently clicked into place and some tame selection from a churchy type pop group was playing in the background. Periodically, one adult or another would make that evil-eyed stroll to the back to make sure that our music was on the straight and narrow and to toss one more accusatory glance in the offender's direction.

It was a long night.

After the arrival at our hotel later in the afternoon of the next day, new batteries were loaded into our favorite traveling juke box set up another day of musical fun. We were going to be touring the major and minor sites of D.C. A popular tape was put in, the volume was turned low, and the group sing began again, this time conscious of both the lyrics and the need to 'forget' the lyrics as needed.

It was one of those times in life where having a bad memory would have been a greater blessing than having a good one.

Now, they pay people to have stellar memories on songs that virtually no one sings anymore unless it's 3 am and they are drunk in some karaoke joint on the Lower East side. And while I have no proof of it, I am sure there is some censor waiting to slap the blue dot and the bleep over offending words that might creep into the music.

Then again, the FCC might be more open minded than chaperones on a youth trip are. And I wonder if that might not be a bad thing. We forgive things and words that just might need a bit more evil eye. Wonder what government agency handles that assignment . . . ?