Adult Children

Are they adults or are they children?

Are they some hybrid of both that switches around according to personal preference of THEM not US?

A single word with no attached meaning can color an entire afternoon.

It runs both ways.

I confess that as my kids have gotten older, I've started remembering that there is a "ME" in here somewhere. There are days that the "ME" is more external than is apparently bearable for the other inhabitants of the planet than they are accustomed to dealing with and enduring.

It's odd how we never see clearly what we put everyone else through. Some days, I confess that I'm afraid to know what I do to other people under the guise of 'helping' or 'advising' them.

Despite intentions being somewhat decent, I'm inevitably stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea when it comes to human interactions. I see one outcome following a nicely dotted line from my ideas that swirl in my head and the reality that is played out in my actual presence.

It was so clear-cut and easy in my head.

But I forgot about that pesky personal moral agency given to every single one of God's children as a gift. Sometimes that is a gift that I wonder about.

When kids are little they NEED you.

When they are growing into their own persons, they push you away only to come running back when they need to be reassured and refreshed from the battle of life that has visited itself upon their young and inexperienced person.

Inevitably comes that day when they no longer need you at all in the way that you have had decades of familiarity in working through.

Now, the need has changed and no one managed to send a memo, a handbook of instruction or even a forwarding address to the person that cherubic infant is on the way to becoming as a self-assured and confident adult.

It's like a ballet on eggshells. Sometimes you break an egg and wind up with the remnants of yolk firmly stuck upon you to deal with as you explore the suddenly steep learning curve of seeing your little baby transform before your eyes from a little chick needing the loving care of your enfolding wings into a full grown and soaring eagle testing its wingspan against an amazingly blue sky dotted with the clouds of adversity.

No matter how much you want to save them from the inevitable, life shows up on their doorstep and  your own. Not all of these intrusions of reality are unpleasant, however. Many of them are wonderful and exceed all expectations.

Hopefully, they will find someone with whom they can share their life and times in a way that was once your own joy to discover.

They have happiness and abundance on the same shoreline as the passage of time also brings the winds of change and waves of trials.

They are no longer children.

When did it happen?

Was I just not paying attention?

We still have awkward interactions of circumstances where our definition of what is to happen doesn't mesh at all.

But it is quickly overtaken by the sheer wonder of seeing that once tiny bundle of need become a thoroughly competent and willing participant in the adult side of life that can bring so many rewards.

I don't want to keep my children babies forever. We get a taste of that with Jared each day and I pray each day that he will someday get his chance to experience life with no hesitation and no obstacles in his way.

But some days, I wouldn't mind a refresher course on holding a little barefoot body clad in tiny overalls and kissing the top of the sweet smelling baby head.

I kinda miss that.