Slow reflexes prevented me from getting to the remote control in time.
Now, I am doomed until I can get the stupid song out of my head.
Those kids programs that are on television during the morning on the educational channel have some of the most annoying music in the ENTIRE world on them! Once the catchy, mind-numbing tune is in your head, it NEVER LEAVES!
I find myself hanging up freshly laundered shirts and humming along to the tune... then I realize what I am doing and scream!
Where is my recalled memory of Whitney Houston or Kansas? But nooooooooo... I get the music to Super Readers or some other such garbage.
Then, I have to be careful about the afternoon programs too.
There is some program called Sid, the Science Kid that comes on about the time I am flipping through the channels to find the afternoon cooking show that I enjoy watching with the nice helpful vegetarian lady who makes some nice looking food. Instead, I accidentally pass the channel with the blue haired, freaky looking animated Sid and his equally freaky family.
The music is horrible, the lyrics are worse but I can't get it out of my head!! AAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!
We are wasting valuable resources on the war on terror. Can't we just drop planeloads of these hateful little songs on our nation's enemies and drive them crazy?
I can guarantee that after a couple of run-throughs of this junk they would be certifiably insane and fit for a nice rubber room somewhere in the middle of nowhere.
Well, I have finally changed to something more fitting for Jared since he is home for the week for Spring Break in less than Floridian temperatures. The only place the temps are suited is Spring Break at the Arctic Circle. And I just don't want to contemplate seeing the bears in Speedo's. Too gruesome...
May your day be filled with music you WANT to hear and no annoying repeats of something that is guaranteed to drop your I.Q. by 40 points with every repetition.
March 15, 2010
March 13, 2010
Have you ever been so tired that you fell asleep in the shower up against the shower wall with your mouth hanging open and awakened suddenly sputtering out water because you were afraid you were about to drown?
And what with that bunch of droplets that forms on top of store bought pies with meringue on top? Is that meringue sweat? If it's sweat, do we really want to eat it? Isn't sweat kind of gross? Even if it is meringue sweat...
On rainy days when highways are slick from the oils and greases the water brings up from the cracks in the asphalt, why do people speed along as if it doesn't matter? I ask because I got to watch a really awful wreck happen right on the road in front of me and called 911 and the Sheriff's dispatch in their behalf. Then, on the way back from Huntsville, I watched the aftermath of a three car crunch by Wendy's. And I called 911 and APD dispatch for those folks.
Jared got to go to the emergency room this morning in Huntsville at the Women's and Children's ER.
He had blood in his phlegm (or so I thought). As it turns out, there was a capillary by where his tonsils used to be that had burst leaving him with a mouthful of blood. He's fine. His chest X-ray was good and he is taking some Mucinex for the sinus and upper chest congestion. Jared had a slight fever, too. But it even went down before they discharged us.
It's been a day.
Can I slip into my PJ's and go to bed now??
Oh, yeah, today is the day we switch our clocks up an hour to lose a bit more sleep and to ensure that we spend Sunday wandering around like moles with sleepy eyes and yawning faces. I hope this means spring is coming because frankly speaking, I can't take much more winter without just giving up and hibernating full time.
I'm not looking forward to this next week off track from school for Jared. It's not nice enough to take him around the sidewalks of our neighborhood for a walk and roll. Unless forecasts change dramatically ...
And what with that bunch of droplets that forms on top of store bought pies with meringue on top? Is that meringue sweat? If it's sweat, do we really want to eat it? Isn't sweat kind of gross? Even if it is meringue sweat...
On rainy days when highways are slick from the oils and greases the water brings up from the cracks in the asphalt, why do people speed along as if it doesn't matter? I ask because I got to watch a really awful wreck happen right on the road in front of me and called 911 and the Sheriff's dispatch in their behalf. Then, on the way back from Huntsville, I watched the aftermath of a three car crunch by Wendy's. And I called 911 and APD dispatch for those folks.
Jared got to go to the emergency room this morning in Huntsville at the Women's and Children's ER.
He had blood in his phlegm (or so I thought). As it turns out, there was a capillary by where his tonsils used to be that had burst leaving him with a mouthful of blood. He's fine. His chest X-ray was good and he is taking some Mucinex for the sinus and upper chest congestion. Jared had a slight fever, too. But it even went down before they discharged us.
It's been a day.
Can I slip into my PJ's and go to bed now??
Oh, yeah, today is the day we switch our clocks up an hour to lose a bit more sleep and to ensure that we spend Sunday wandering around like moles with sleepy eyes and yawning faces. I hope this means spring is coming because frankly speaking, I can't take much more winter without just giving up and hibernating full time.
I'm not looking forward to this next week off track from school for Jared. It's not nice enough to take him around the sidewalks of our neighborhood for a walk and roll. Unless forecasts change dramatically ...
March 9, 2010
Surviving on Less
Gotta give her credit, but the woman will NOT survive in the dog-eat-dog world of capital hill by suggesting a pay cut to the fat cats in the Beltway. Rep. Ann Kirkpatrick (D-Ariz.) is asking for just that - a modest pay cut of 5% that will be turned back into the federal treasury to get the nation out of debt.
I'm all for that... but the amount is too small. While Kirkpatrick IS putting her money where her mouth is and legitimately cutting her pay, it isn't enough to move me.
The average family in this country has suffered, in many cases, between a 50% and a 75% cut in pay for those who have lost jobs, been downsized, seen their jobs float overseas and in most cases can't even get a job at the local Wal-Mart to cover it.
They have lost their insurance and benefits and the ridiculous socialized medicine proposal
of the "Obama-nation" is only going to make it worse. It's beyond beating a dead horse, the proposal will flay the hide from the carcass and demand more.
If the people in the halls of power really want to move me, I can make some real adjustments that will make a HUGE difference in the balance of power and understanding.
#1 - No special health care provision for members of congress, cabinet members and the presidency. If Tri-Care is good enough for the fighting men and women of our nation, then by God, it's good enough for YOU.
#2 - No franking privilege. If you want to send out letters to everyone in your home district, YOU pay for it, NOT THE TAXPAYERS!!! (*NOTE - this means they don't pay for their postage - WE THE PEOPLE do! And that has to stop! Haven't they heard of email??)
#3 - CUT YOUR OWN PAY BY 25%... or more! If you really want to feel our pain, then come down out of the ranks of the elite. All of the politicos keep screaming about how they 'know how I feel". Do tell. When was the last time, or even the first time, a bill collector harassed you for a bill you were doing your best to pay off but just couldn't come up to the full amount on their timetable? Frankly speaking, most of you don't bother to even put your ass in the chair most days and you play poker, solitaire and goof off when you ARE there. Mental absence is the same as physical absence when it comes to the business of the people. Your salary should likewise be deducted for days you miss that are over your holiday, sick leave and personal days limit. We don't get paid if we skip work and neither should you! And your home district should be able to vote your ass out of office ANY TIME they have a simple majority to do so. That's how you think the big dogs should run the government for us, so that's how it should run for you.
#4 - Grant a TWO WEEK PERIOD FOR CAMPAIGNING. That's it. Not one extra day on the taxpayer dime. Talk about bringing the message right down to the point! Your constituents, whom you claim to represent, can get a pretty fair picture of the kind of weasel you are in a short time when you are under pressure. No time for promises you can't keep and issues you are too feckless to resolve. If you decide to use your personal days and sick leave up for campaigning, expect to be seated in the halls of congress the rest of the time even if you are plagued with lumbago, schistosomiasis and cholera. This way, you really will understand how 'WE THE PEOPLE' are feeling. We have to work when we are sick to pay the skyrocketing cost of social programs that are growing faster and more burdensome by the moment.
#5 - No more travel perks. If you want to take a fact finding mission to Cancun, do it on your own dime. Learn to use the Internet and check travel prices like the rest of the known universe. No more first class on the backs of the nation. If you choose to fly first class to Barbados for an international government beach party, YOU PAY not us.
#6 - No executive jets or private jets. Talk about greenhouse gases and emissions! The hot air the government spews from their rhetoric filled mouths is bad enough, but all of this needless continual campaigning and bribery through appearance junkets is just corruption by jet travel. What makes you so special that you can't ride in a regular plane with WE THE PEOPLE??? Aren't you always claiming to BE ONE OF US??? Frankly, the presidential plane is a bit overused too. The amount of money coughed up everytime a trip by our representatives is taken would make the Revolutionaries who founded our nation choke and die. I cannot imagine for one second that George Washington would have allowed the nation to pay for his travels in this manner!
#7 - Whatever you propose for us will now apply to all levels of government. The crap about skipping out on personal accountability and the feeling that responsibilty does not apply to you is over. We the people go to jail for bribery and corruption. Washington apparenlty promotes on the basis of who is best at the craft of graft. That corrupt lifestyle... well, IT'S OVER. If you are caught up in a scandal involving moral turpitude that casts aspersions on your ability to govern with your pants zipped, money theft, money laundering, contract brokering, back door dealing, influence pedaling, etc. etc., ad nauseum, then you lose your job and, for any criminality involved, you go to jail. Not some cushy federal pokey with nice people, but a randomly selected good old fashioned county lockup from any one of our nation's finest. Expect to work hard every single day on a road crew picking up trash in Limestone County pretty soon. By the way, I hope you look good in orange!
#8 - Time to truly know the people. During your summer recess, there will be no more 3 month long boating trips in Martha's Vineyard. You will get the same 1 or 2 weeks of vacation that most folks experience. The rest of your recess will be spent in your home district at the senior center, old folks homes, local library and helping the disabled.
If you truly want to KNOW the people you claim to represent, it would be nice if you actually KNOW WHO THEY ARE BY NAME AND CIRCUMSTANCE!
#9 - No more high priced 'favors'! If you want a $400 haircut, YOU PAY. If you want to host a banquet for your 'friends', YOU PAY. And none of these are going to be fodder for the media. Frankly, we no longer care. No indirect billing to your political party, political action committee or some lobbiest. If I host a dinner party for a few hundred of my close friends, I can't expect my neighbors to pay for my fun. It isn't right for you to expect others to pay for yours either. Most, if not all of you, have independent sources of wealth. Use them. WE THE PEOPLE are damn sick and tired of paying for your good times while we watch our paychecks dwindle, our taxes rise, and the lazy be rewarded with more social programs and entitlements.
#10 - Back door deals are out. If you can't conduct the business of the people in broad daylight, then you KNOW what you are negotiating is WRONG!! Every move you make with the exceptions of the ones in the bathroom stall should be televised when you are on our dime alleged to be working for WE THE PEOPLE! Secrecy in the case of the nations' day to day business breeds handshakes, winks, nods and slight of hands with the federal funds that come directly from the pockets and off the backs of the working men and women in this country. That you lack the understanding to comprehend that this is angering us is indicative of the overall problem. You no longer feel like you are one of us... because you no longer are!
I'm all for that... but the amount is too small. While Kirkpatrick IS putting her money where her mouth is and legitimately cutting her pay, it isn't enough to move me.
The average family in this country has suffered, in many cases, between a 50% and a 75% cut in pay for those who have lost jobs, been downsized, seen their jobs float overseas and in most cases can't even get a job at the local Wal-Mart to cover it.
They have lost their insurance and benefits and the ridiculous socialized medicine proposal
of the "Obama-nation" is only going to make it worse. It's beyond beating a dead horse, the proposal will flay the hide from the carcass and demand more.
If the people in the halls of power really want to move me, I can make some real adjustments that will make a HUGE difference in the balance of power and understanding.
#1 - No special health care provision for members of congress, cabinet members and the presidency. If Tri-Care is good enough for the fighting men and women of our nation, then by God, it's good enough for YOU.
#2 - No franking privilege. If you want to send out letters to everyone in your home district, YOU pay for it, NOT THE TAXPAYERS!!! (*NOTE - this means they don't pay for their postage - WE THE PEOPLE do! And that has to stop! Haven't they heard of email??)
#3 - CUT YOUR OWN PAY BY 25%... or more! If you really want to feel our pain, then come down out of the ranks of the elite. All of the politicos keep screaming about how they 'know how I feel". Do tell. When was the last time, or even the first time, a bill collector harassed you for a bill you were doing your best to pay off but just couldn't come up to the full amount on their timetable? Frankly speaking, most of you don't bother to even put your ass in the chair most days and you play poker, solitaire and goof off when you ARE there. Mental absence is the same as physical absence when it comes to the business of the people. Your salary should likewise be deducted for days you miss that are over your holiday, sick leave and personal days limit. We don't get paid if we skip work and neither should you! And your home district should be able to vote your ass out of office ANY TIME they have a simple majority to do so. That's how you think the big dogs should run the government for us, so that's how it should run for you.
#4 - Grant a TWO WEEK PERIOD FOR CAMPAIGNING. That's it. Not one extra day on the taxpayer dime. Talk about bringing the message right down to the point! Your constituents, whom you claim to represent, can get a pretty fair picture of the kind of weasel you are in a short time when you are under pressure. No time for promises you can't keep and issues you are too feckless to resolve. If you decide to use your personal days and sick leave up for campaigning, expect to be seated in the halls of congress the rest of the time even if you are plagued with lumbago, schistosomiasis and cholera. This way, you really will understand how 'WE THE PEOPLE' are feeling. We have to work when we are sick to pay the skyrocketing cost of social programs that are growing faster and more burdensome by the moment.
#5 - No more travel perks. If you want to take a fact finding mission to Cancun, do it on your own dime. Learn to use the Internet and check travel prices like the rest of the known universe. No more first class on the backs of the nation. If you choose to fly first class to Barbados for an international government beach party, YOU PAY not us.
#6 - No executive jets or private jets. Talk about greenhouse gases and emissions! The hot air the government spews from their rhetoric filled mouths is bad enough, but all of this needless continual campaigning and bribery through appearance junkets is just corruption by jet travel. What makes you so special that you can't ride in a regular plane with WE THE PEOPLE??? Aren't you always claiming to BE ONE OF US??? Frankly, the presidential plane is a bit overused too. The amount of money coughed up everytime a trip by our representatives is taken would make the Revolutionaries who founded our nation choke and die. I cannot imagine for one second that George Washington would have allowed the nation to pay for his travels in this manner!
#7 - Whatever you propose for us will now apply to all levels of government. The crap about skipping out on personal accountability and the feeling that responsibilty does not apply to you is over. We the people go to jail for bribery and corruption. Washington apparenlty promotes on the basis of who is best at the craft of graft. That corrupt lifestyle... well, IT'S OVER. If you are caught up in a scandal involving moral turpitude that casts aspersions on your ability to govern with your pants zipped, money theft, money laundering, contract brokering, back door dealing, influence pedaling, etc. etc., ad nauseum, then you lose your job and, for any criminality involved, you go to jail. Not some cushy federal pokey with nice people, but a randomly selected good old fashioned county lockup from any one of our nation's finest. Expect to work hard every single day on a road crew picking up trash in Limestone County pretty soon. By the way, I hope you look good in orange!
#8 - Time to truly know the people. During your summer recess, there will be no more 3 month long boating trips in Martha's Vineyard. You will get the same 1 or 2 weeks of vacation that most folks experience. The rest of your recess will be spent in your home district at the senior center, old folks homes, local library and helping the disabled.
If you truly want to KNOW the people you claim to represent, it would be nice if you actually KNOW WHO THEY ARE BY NAME AND CIRCUMSTANCE!
#9 - No more high priced 'favors'! If you want a $400 haircut, YOU PAY. If you want to host a banquet for your 'friends', YOU PAY. And none of these are going to be fodder for the media. Frankly, we no longer care. No indirect billing to your political party, political action committee or some lobbiest. If I host a dinner party for a few hundred of my close friends, I can't expect my neighbors to pay for my fun. It isn't right for you to expect others to pay for yours either. Most, if not all of you, have independent sources of wealth. Use them. WE THE PEOPLE are damn sick and tired of paying for your good times while we watch our paychecks dwindle, our taxes rise, and the lazy be rewarded with more social programs and entitlements.
#10 - Back door deals are out. If you can't conduct the business of the people in broad daylight, then you KNOW what you are negotiating is WRONG!! Every move you make with the exceptions of the ones in the bathroom stall should be televised when you are on our dime alleged to be working for WE THE PEOPLE! Secrecy in the case of the nations' day to day business breeds handshakes, winks, nods and slight of hands with the federal funds that come directly from the pockets and off the backs of the working men and women in this country. That you lack the understanding to comprehend that this is angering us is indicative of the overall problem. You no longer feel like you are one of us... because you no longer are!
March 2, 2010
Alligator Purse
Winter brings on some interesting moments.
Snowfall in Alabama. Slick roadways and windows that need deicing. Visions of bowls of hot chili and late night mugs filled with hot chocolate that is festooned with bobbing marshmallows. Scarves and mittens. Winter wraps and comfortable evenings by the fireside.
Winter also brings on another moment... for me, winter is an experiment in which hand and body lotion can keep enough moisture in my skin to keep me from declining on Darwin's evolutionary scale into something... well... with scales.
I don't recall anywhere in my studies of zoology or anatomy that there were bottles and jugs of Lubriderm or Nivea anywhere nearby. Frankly, lacking opposable thumbs, would any of the amphibian or reptilian ancestor set have the ability to even remove the safety seal from the packaging?
And if they somehow gnawed it off, would they even be able to successfully apply the lotion to their bodies in a way that actually eased that dry, scaly appearance? I'm thinking that rubbing lotion on with a sandpapery surface wouldn't help at all. Not only does it not help the existing gross looking skin, but the sandpaper would make the lotion into a gooey skin filled mess that just makes me sick to think about.
Now, I have officially tried a gazillion different preparations, potions, serums and lotions which all claim to ease the dry, cracked and alligator like appearance of my hands. None last for very long and seem to just disappear into the cracked surface immediately, which begs the question... am I applying this correctly? Do I rub it onto my skin or am I supposed to immerse my hands in buckets of this goo and just leave them there for the alleged healing to take place?
If so, that would impede what little work I actually manage to do each day. Did you know you can't turn on the washer with a bucket on your hand? Who knew...
Of course, if you are both flexible and dextrous, you could simply perform the task of turning on appliances with your toes. Since I have a stacking washer and dryer, the gymnastic portion of this task would certainly be deserving of a gold medal or at least a silver.
And if you employ your feet for the routine tasks normally covered by dry, scaly hands, it is only reasonable that in short order your feet would also look like your amphibian and reptilian ancestry was showing.
I concede that this is the only season of the year in which the idea of mankind emerging from the primordial ooze even seems possible. The scaly patches on my body seem to hark back to an earlier and most decidedly primitive tie in to the historical account of the rise of man.
It all reminds me of a kid's song my sister and I sang as a child. Even as I think about it, I'm hoping that I am not selected on the basis of my scaly hands to be the donor for the alligator purse... I'm thinking that would be sort of gross. And I'm not exactly sure how the lady with said alligator purse would be helpful but here we go:
Miss Lucy had a baby
She named him Tiny Tim
She put him in the bathtub
To teach him how to swim.
He drank up all the water
He ate up all the soap
He tried to eat the bathtub
But it wouldn't go down his throat.
Call, call the Doctor!
Call, call the nurse!
Call, call the lady with the alligator purse!
It never failed to make us laugh helplessly.
Oh well, it's time to put on more lotion and make at least an attempt to tame the savage beast coming out in my hands.
Snowfall in Alabama. Slick roadways and windows that need deicing. Visions of bowls of hot chili and late night mugs filled with hot chocolate that is festooned with bobbing marshmallows. Scarves and mittens. Winter wraps and comfortable evenings by the fireside.
Winter also brings on another moment... for me, winter is an experiment in which hand and body lotion can keep enough moisture in my skin to keep me from declining on Darwin's evolutionary scale into something... well... with scales.
I don't recall anywhere in my studies of zoology or anatomy that there were bottles and jugs of Lubriderm or Nivea anywhere nearby. Frankly, lacking opposable thumbs, would any of the amphibian or reptilian ancestor set have the ability to even remove the safety seal from the packaging?
And if they somehow gnawed it off, would they even be able to successfully apply the lotion to their bodies in a way that actually eased that dry, scaly appearance? I'm thinking that rubbing lotion on with a sandpapery surface wouldn't help at all. Not only does it not help the existing gross looking skin, but the sandpaper would make the lotion into a gooey skin filled mess that just makes me sick to think about.
Now, I have officially tried a gazillion different preparations, potions, serums and lotions which all claim to ease the dry, cracked and alligator like appearance of my hands. None last for very long and seem to just disappear into the cracked surface immediately, which begs the question... am I applying this correctly? Do I rub it onto my skin or am I supposed to immerse my hands in buckets of this goo and just leave them there for the alleged healing to take place?
If so, that would impede what little work I actually manage to do each day. Did you know you can't turn on the washer with a bucket on your hand? Who knew...
Of course, if you are both flexible and dextrous, you could simply perform the task of turning on appliances with your toes. Since I have a stacking washer and dryer, the gymnastic portion of this task would certainly be deserving of a gold medal or at least a silver.
And if you employ your feet for the routine tasks normally covered by dry, scaly hands, it is only reasonable that in short order your feet would also look like your amphibian and reptilian ancestry was showing.
I concede that this is the only season of the year in which the idea of mankind emerging from the primordial ooze even seems possible. The scaly patches on my body seem to hark back to an earlier and most decidedly primitive tie in to the historical account of the rise of man.
It all reminds me of a kid's song my sister and I sang as a child. Even as I think about it, I'm hoping that I am not selected on the basis of my scaly hands to be the donor for the alligator purse... I'm thinking that would be sort of gross. And I'm not exactly sure how the lady with said alligator purse would be helpful but here we go:
Miss Lucy had a baby
She named him Tiny Tim
She put him in the bathtub
To teach him how to swim.
He drank up all the water
He ate up all the soap
He tried to eat the bathtub
But it wouldn't go down his throat.
Call, call the Doctor!
Call, call the nurse!
Call, call the lady with the alligator purse!
It never failed to make us laugh helplessly.
Oh well, it's time to put on more lotion and make at least an attempt to tame the savage beast coming out in my hands.
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