Labor Day

It's odd that we celebrate a day called Labor Day by avoiding any labor at all.

My husband, who is generally an early riser with a pleasant nature (an irksome trait at times), slept in like there was no tomorrow. Which, I suppose, is only fair. Since he is the sole bacon bringer and bread winner of the household, he deserves some time off for good behavior.

Although it is an alleged holiday, the laundry still has to be done. It seldom crawls into the washer and does itself. Dang it! If only it were a little more self motivated I could finish the book I have been reading or catch a few minutes of the movie I have tried to watch for three days now.

While I fully realize that the laundry will never do itself and that the floor will never willingly drag the mop across its surface, it doesn't keep me from fantasizing about how nice it would be to live in an enchanted house that did those little mundane chores by itself.

Of course, it does beg the question of what would happen if the enchanted house decided that my posterior was too wide for the chairs or that I was not shopping for sufficient fruits and vegetables to stock both the pantry racks and the refrigerator with the nutrients agreed upon by the FDA and their handy little pyramid of good eating.

Would the furniture eject me and compel me to go for longer walks? Would there be a conspiracy between the household appliances and my i-Pod to compel me to exercise as if the shoes I wore were pre-programmed for a certain mileage and wouldn't let me return to home base until they had walked the proscribed path?

The freezer and microwave would become nagging, shrill voices of authority telling me and anyone within earshot that I had already consumed enough junk for the day and my power was being cut off and the doors would no longer open for me.

Just thinking about how far biometrics have come for securing the lunch money, military bases and laboratories of the world makes me wonder if we couldn't and shouldn't apply the same technology to eating and exercising.

Our fingerprints could be scanned indicating the precise diet that is required to return to the normal sized clothing of bygone days. Calories would be dispensed on a regular cycle to prevent blood sugar falloffs and the food would be prepared by the enchanted appliances to be whatever would compel us to actually eat the food that was now 'healthy' and 'good for us'.

But, I worry that the government rats would get involved in the enchantment and create a weapon of fearful properties. They could make sure the 'good guys' were all scanned in and simply starve out the 'enemy' with absolute impunity. That kind of power would be dangerous at home and abroad.

Whatever political party had control would be able to wield the shopping cart to compel people to flock to their banners and to espouse their ideology just to be able to get a meal for themselves and their family.

If you refused to bow under the pressure, your cupboards would rival Old Mother Hubbard's for the sheer lack of volume. And if you think you'd be frantic about getting something for your favorite pooch to eat, imagine how you might feel to be in the same position but with a child begging for the 'bone'.

Science fiction is becoming fact in many areas of our lives. I hope this is one that doesn't ever see development. We don't need to have every bite micromanaged. Inevitably, micromanagement tends to leave someone on the sidelines everytime. It isn't intentional most of the time, but it still leaves someone out in the cold when they can least afford it.