Although the idea of making introductions is to get, retain and recall at future dates the names of those whom you have met, sometimes reconciling the name to the face is an art form which escapes me.
I am reduced to the typical Southern greeting of 'How's your mamma 'n them?' or 'Glad you see you again!'
Niether is impolite, they just aren't personal.
I think I have succeeded in remembering the names of a few of the new people I have been introduced to only to see them in an entirely different setting and their name totally escapes me because they are 'out of uniform', so to speak.
Most of my social introductions these days come at church when I am not wearing faded sweatpants with paint adorning the legs and seat and when those to whom I am introduced are likewise wearing something other than 'house casual'.
Perhaps that in and of itself is enough to excuse the slack jawed deer in the headlights look that comes over me as I struggle to say funny or neutral things like 'Well, lookie here, they let just anybody shop here, don't they?" or, in the case of people with small children, "Oh my goodness! Look how much he/she has grown!"
Although they are not surefire winners, they beat the heck out of 'I have no clue who you are or where I met you." People seem to be taken aback by that sort of candor.
Online, there are gentle reminders to whom you are speaking. Visual tags or avatars remind us of at least the online persona. Sometimes, brave souls call themselves by the names their Momma gave them. And truly kind people post a picture of themselves, or an unreasonable facsimile of the same.
Maybe we should require name tags in life. My son, Thomas, wears one every day right now as part of his missionary service. Part identifier and part introduction, the tag is a visible reminder for those to whom he comes in contact and a reminder to himself as he tries to master a new language within this culture of preaching the gospel which he has embraced.
I wonder if our behavior might change if everyone we saw knew who we were right away?
In the movie 'Minority Report', the main character has had an eye implant that renders him recognizable as someone else due to retinal scanning. Stores, marquees, everything - literally - as he passes by cues up based on the retinal scan that tells everything about him, or the person through who's eyes he now sees the world.
There are sometimes that NOT being known is a good thing. Ask any major celebrity how much their privacy is really worth to them. They know that being seen keeps the money rolling in, but there are times that even the most gregarious needs 'alone time'.
When I have had to dash out to get medicine in the middle of the night at the 24 hour drug store, or pick up something at the local Walmart, I don't generally take the time to primp. But inevitably, I run into someone who knows me and they have a slightly pained expression on their face as we exchange pleasantries over a package of aloe enriched baby wipes. It is not until later when I am back home that I realize I am wearing a painting t-shirt with a prominent hole in the front and paint stains adorning the bottom where I've wiped my fine point brushes off between colors. Oh my goodness!!
Suddenly, I know exactly what they must have been thinking. I remember you! And now a picture I'd rather not have out there is seared into their mind. Not the one from Sunday when I looked like a million bucks, but rather the one from tonight where I resemble a panhandler looking for a few bucks.
And people wonder why I want to be a hermit!
The only good thing that can come of this is to pretend blithely that it wasn't me but my evil twin who assaulted their ocular senses. Kind and polite people who were raised right allow this ruse to continue unabated. Because deep down, they know they have experienced that same thing at least one time.
Unkind people smile that evil, knowing smile that leaves me a bit uncomfortable. They are holding this in reserve for 'when they need it'.
Maybe that's why I have a hard time remembering people's names. I want to view them in that almost sacred light of when we were introduced so politely and everyone had on decent clothes.
I don't want to sully my remembrance with seeing them as regular flawed people like I am. I think better of them than that.
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