Validation

{NOTE: this was moved here from a writer's blog, on which I participate from time to time. It was originally written May 1, 2008.}

The last time I took Jared to see his orthopedic surgeon for a follow up on the rods in his back, the kind lady at reception said, "Do you need to be validated?"

Being the bright woman that I am, I knew instinctively that she was speaking of my parking but the inner me sort of wondered how that became a catch-phrase for getting recognition for who and what we are in our personal and public lives.

Back when psychology was all about you making you feel better instead of about having outside sources for that betterment, one of my professors said that the need to have someone else tell us we were good was a manifestation of psychosis.

Even then, I though that was stupid. We all want to hear that we are 'worth something' to others and that we have brought something to the banquet table of life that was appreciated, recognized and enjoyed by the others in attendance, even if only for a moment.

While we can't always get that shout out from the "Amen Corner" about just how magnificent we are, we can always know from our Father in Heaven just where we stand with Him.

In institute class, Brother Searle told us that we had the right AND responsibility to ask Heavenly Father for a report on our standing with Him. And that in asking of Him that information that we would be required to make an accounting of what we had done with the talents and gifts He had given to us to bless our life and the lives of countless others of His Children who share this journey through mortality with us.

I've done that from time to time. Perhaps not nearly enough, because I still do things that aren't up to par and repeat mistakes as if I am too ignorant of the consequences to never repeat them again.What all this comes down to is that we do validate ourselves in some measure, but we NEED to know that someone else truly cares and has seen our efforts - even the feeble ones - that propel us toward our eternal destination.Back to the lady at the reception desk, I thanked her for being good enough to remind me of that free service and accepted the token that would free me from the payment of an exorbitant fee for having used the parking garage.

That token was warm in my hand and later, as I slipped it into my pocket, I began to reflect on the spiritual warmth we feel when we are told that we are on the right track with our Father.

Sometimes that bit of understanding is enough steam to keep our little 'engine that could' running a straight course for days and days.We need to remember that we have a duty to acknowledge the good works of others in our lives instead of justifying our sloth by saying 'they know how I feel about them and what they have done'.

Their little engine of faith needs the fuel to believe and that comes from knowing internally and from the kindness of external reminders that it DOES matter that they have made a difference in the life of someone else in this journey. That kind of validation is really just a reminder that we are all one family under God's all seeing and all knowing sight. Within that comfortable relationship of family, we can help lift the fallen by our own actions and sometimes a word or a smile is sufficent to let them know that they matter as a person and a Child of God.I wish now that I had paid the fee for the parking and kept the validation token as a tangible reminder of those thoughts that roamed through my head and heart.