Cooking shows are my favorite programs to watch during the weekday if I even have the TV on. Most of the time I listen to the radio or nothing at all but the sound of my own wheezing. On the weekend, they sometimes show them again as filler and to prevent the expense of buying all new programming for the hours of broadcast time that have to be filled with something other than watching paint dry and grass grow.
So, I'm sitting here tonight watching this one cooking program where this dude is making Argentinian barbecue. He rapid fire delivers the ingredients list and the sequence all while dumping the little tiny glass bowls of them into the big bowl.
He is smiling his smarmy little smile into the camera.
I find that I lack BOTH the specific type of meat and the secret ingredients to make my dinner while I watch. I'd like to make the Argentinian barbecue, I really would because it sounds tasty, but he's talking too dang fast, dumping the stuff from the bowl he just mixed up with his fingers into a food processor (which I lack) and showing way too many teeth.
Plus, NOWHERE is there an ingredients list on the screen.
Here's the kicker. I go to his website. His STUPID website. There IS NO RECIPE for today since apparently today's show on our local station was a rebroadcast and I lack the show number to find out which one had the food I wanted to cook.
Grrrrr. He and his barbecue can all go to the devil. In tiny glass bowls.
Why doesn't he have a list of the food names in Alpha order so I can look it up based on the name of whatever he was cooking instead of by show number? I hope he burns his own dinner tonight. I really do.
Then there is the Italian cooking show that I watch from time to time. She uses lots of Italian words when she cooks. I catch some of them because being a Romance language based on Latin, I can understand some things. But then she launches off into the specific Italian names of stuff and she loses me in the translation.
The food looks yummy most of the time. And there are times I wish we had "smell-o-vision" that you could click a little button and sniff the food to see if you might like it.
I'd also like to be able to have the ability to reach into the TV and grab the completed meals from time to time. Can you imagine the look on their face when they turn back around to add the flat leaf Mexican parsley to garnish the top of the magnificent main course they have prepared only to realize I have just stolen it for MY supper??? Muuahahahahahahahahahahaha!
That would be AWESOME! Talk about must see TV!!
I love to learn about how to make new things. I hate the expense that you'd have to go to in order to keep the exotic ingredients on hand to make the new food that my hubby may not even try or like.
Julia Child's program was one of my favorites growing up. Momma would allow us to watch it and I guess from that humble beginning, I fell in love with the idea of cooking food to not only feed the family but once in a while to feed the soul.
I truly admire women who have culinary skills beyond whipping out the can opener.
There is something akin to a spiritual moment to sink your taste buds into a meal that was not only prepared with food and love but with actual skill in the craft and art of cooking.
Since I was young, I've wanted a true chef's kitchen, but I'd also like the luxury of the TV programs . . . you don't really think all those TV chefs clean up after themselves, did you??
They have a 'self-cleaning kitchen' that doesn't require THEIR self to clean it at all...
Some poor TV intern who is wondering why on earth they went to college for all this just to do the dishes is washing up after the show is over for minimum wage. They can't pay off their college loans for television journalism and they probably don't get to taste the food, either.
I love cooking shows. They fill me with enthusiasm for the entire process of preparing a meal for the people I love.
And I hate them.
They remind me that I have devolved into the kind of cook who is more about expedience than elegance and more about budget than beauty.
The ghost of Julia Child is not amused.
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